Tag Archives: Health

The Scary Ways Stress Affects Our Health. Conclusion

Mental Health, stress, Support/Encouragement, Worry, , , , ,

Welcome Back to the LETS TALK ABOUT STRESS series!

Diet and eating habits
When you’re under stress, you may find yourself turning to unhealthy comfort foods or overeating. You may also have trouble sleeping, which can lead to fatigue and make it even harder to make healthy choices. There some things you can do to try to improve your situation. First, try to identify the sources of your stress and determine what you can eliminate or reduce. If work is a major source of stress, how can you change your job or reduce your workload. If you’re dealing with personal issues, talk to a therapist or counselor.

In addition to making changes in your life, you can also take steps to improve your diet and eating habits. Eat regular meals and snacks throughout the day to keep your energy up, and make sure to include plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. Avoid sugary and fatty foods as much as possible,  limit caffeine and alcohol intake. Exercise regularly, get plenty of sleep, and take time for relaxation and fun activities that help reduce stress.

How Stress affects your overall well-being.
When you experience stress, your body goes into fight-or-flight mode. This causes a number of changes to occur, including an increase in your heart rate and blood pressure, as well as a release of stress hormones like cortisol.

While some amount of stress is normal and even necessary (it helps you to stay alert and perform under pressure), chronic stress can have negative effects on your health. Over time, it can contribute to conditions like anxiety, depression, heart disease, and even obesity.

There are a number of things you can do to manage stress and improve your overall well-being. Exercise, relaxation techniques like meditation or deep breathing, and getting enough sleep are all good options. You can also try to keep a positive outlook and find ways to better cope with stressful situations.

How to manage Stress to improve your health
Stress is a common problem that can have a negative impact on your health, it can make it difficult to manage other health conditions. There are many different ways to manage, the best approach may vary depending on the situation. Some people use relaxation techniques, such as yoga or meditation. Others may find that exercise or journaling helps to relieve stress.

If you are struggling to cope with stress, it is important to talk to your doctor or a mental health professional. They can help you to identify healthy coping mechanisms and develop a plan to improve your overall health.

What are your thoughts? Sound off below! See you in a few days!

To Your Success,
Juan

The Scary Ways Stress Affects Our Health. Pt 1

Advice, Life Lessons, stress, Support/Encouragement, Worry, , , , , , , , , ,

Photo: Simran Sood

Welcome Back to the LETS TALK ABOUT STRESS series!

It’s no secret that stress takes a toll on our mental and emotional health, but did you know  it can also wreak havoc on our physical health? In fact, stress is a major contributing factor to many of the most common health concerns, from heart disease to obesity. So what exactly happens to our bodies when we’re stressed? And more importantly, what can we do to combat the negative effects of stress?

Chronic stress can take a toll on your body, causing  a variety of symptoms. You may experience:
Headaches
Muscle tension or pain
Chest pain
Fatigue
Digestive problems
Sleep problems

We will divide this segment in two parts, for the sake of time and attention span. Today, we will look at how stress affects our mental, emotional, social wellbeing and sleep habits, as well as useful coping mechanisms. Part two concludes by examining the affects on diet and eating habits, overall wellbeing.

Stress is a normal part of life, but it can take a toll on your mental health. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or just not yourself, stress could very well be the culprit. Chronic stress can lead to problems like anxiety, depression, and trouble sleeping. It can also make physical health problems worse.

If you’re struggling to cope with stress, there are things you can do to feel better. Talking to a therapist can help. So can exercise, relaxation techniques, and making lifestyle changes such as eating a healthy diet and getting enough sleep.

How Stress affects your emotional health
When we’re stressed, our bodies release a hormone called Cortisol. Cortisol helps us regulate our metabolism, but when we’re constantly under stress, it can have a negative impact on our emotional health.

Studies have shown Cortisol can cause symptoms of anxiety and depression, and interfere with our ability to form new memories and concentrate. In addition, cortisol wears down our immune system, making us more susceptible to illness. 

Exercise is a great way to reduce stress levels, spending time with friends and family can also help. If you’re still finding it difficult to cope, it’s important to talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.

How Stress affects your social health
Chronic stress can have negative effects on your social life. You can become withdrawn and irritable, anxious and depressed, which in turn negatively affects your relationships. It is important to make time for yourself, and focus on your mental and emotional health.

How Stress affects your sleep.
Stress can cause us to have trouble falling or staying asleep, and it can lead to restless nights. Over time, you can suffer from sleep deprivation. Stress hormones like cortisol, can make it hard to fall and stay asleep. Cortisol is a hormone that helps us deal with stress, but it also makes us more alert and can keep us awake at night. Racing thoughts and worry keeps us awake at night. Physical symptoms like headaches or muscle tension are not uncommon.

There are a few things you can do to try to improve your sleep. First, try to stick to a regular sleep schedule as much as possible. This means going to bed and waking up at the same time each day, even on weekends. Second, create a relaxing bedtime routine; taking a warm bath or reading a book. And finally, try some relaxation techniques like deep breathing or visualization before bedtime.

Let me know if you found any of these suggestions helpful!

To Your Success,
Juan

 

Develop The Growth Habit Mindset

Goals/Dreams, Gratitude, Life Lessons, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Readers,

Have you ever considered the flip-side of all that, by building a habit that’s positive? What if the habit you formed was one of growth and personal development? Having a growth mindset positively impacts your life. What are the benefits of developing a growth mindset? Why put yourself through so many cathartic changes? Below is my take:

1. You keep learning. Learning is important as you not only discover new ways to do things, but by making it a practice, you develop new ways of thinking, and ideas. Learning connects you with more of the world and helps you see things with a deeper significance than you ever thought possible. But more than that, people who stop learning, very quickly stagnate. Studies have shown that the practice of learning new things when you are older helps ward off problems related to dementia. In short, learning is good for your brain!

2. You learn perseverance. As we learn new things, we adapt and change how we think. That gives us the ability to see other solutions to problems, that would have frustrated us in the past. By challenging yourself to grow, you learn how to push through obstacles and forge new paths.

3. You embrace challenges. Growth can be challenging. But by pushing yourself, you’re able to look at challenges differently. An obstacle now becomes an opportunity to learn something new, and to do things in a way you haven’t before. 

4. You embrace failure. When you’re interested in growing as an individual, you start to see failure differently. Everything becomes a potential lesson in a way that you didn’t think would work. 

5. You become more open to criticism. By being willing to grow, you start to see that the input of other people has significance. You see their words not so much as something negative, but one you can use to develop as a person, and learn something about yourself. You might not always like the lesson, but that’s part of growing too.

By embracing personal growth, you find the best version of yourself. You have the opportunity to become more than you ever thought possible. And the best part? Finding out you can become more still, and that the furthest edges of yourself are far beyond what you thought you ever could be. 

Happy IWD

Once Upon a Line, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Happy International Women’s Day! My lightbulb moment came the year I turned 40. Several friends share the same belief. It’s an awakening. A sense of liberation that seems to immediately take over your existence. If you’re over forty, you know what I mean! 
International Women’s Day is officially celebrated tomorrow. When I lived in the UK, I wrote a poem that was proudly displayed on the UK based IWD site womenforwomen.org. I marched alongside thousands of other women, proudly holding the banner. The year after I moved back to America, I also marched. In honor of this beautifully transformative stage of our lives, and in line with health and wellness theme, I wanted to share tips for healthy living.
Our wisdom and compassion often increase as we grow older, but so do our health challenges. More than 90% of older adults have at least one chronic condition, and more than 75% have more than one. Plus, these figures are even higher for women than for men. Natural changes like menopause and your family medical history, play a part. A healthy lifestyle can help you stay as strong and independent as possible in the years ahead. Take a look at these tips to help you maintain your health as you age.

Dealing with Menopause

Stay cool. Hot flashes can make you uncomfortable and disrupt your sleep. Reduce them by limiting triggers like alcohol and caffeine. Dress in layers and keep a fan next to your bed.
Manage stress. Stress can aggravate hot flashes and other symptoms of menopause. Meditate daily and think positive.
Lose weight. Your muscles shrink and your metabolism slows down as you age. The distribution of your body fat changes too, so more of those pounds wind up around your waist, increasing your risk for heart conditions and diabetes. Fight back by eating less and exercising more.
Eat soy. Many women find relief from menopause symptoms with soy and supplements, even though studies give conflicting results. See if tofu and soymilk work for you.
Talk with your doctor. Your doctor can tell you whether you’re a good candidate for hormone replacement therapy or other treatments. Share your concerns and questions.

Staying Physically Fit

Condition your heart. You’re about 5 times more likely to have heart disease after you turn 40. Aerobic exercise, along with a diet high in fiber and low in unhealthy fats, can help your heart start stay strong
.Build your muscles. Slow down muscle loss, and thicken your bones with strength training. Lift weights or try movements that use your own bodyweight for resistance, like planks and pushups.
Increase your balance. Avoid falls by becoming steadier on your feet. Practice yoga, pilates or just stand on one foot while you’re talking on the phone.
Ask a trainer. Do you already have stiff hips or a sore back? Some professional trainers specialize in corrective fitness that will target the areas you need to limber up.

Other Health Tips for Women Over 40

Sleep well. You may find it harder to fall asleep and stay asleep these days. Stick to a consistent schedule and block out nighttime noises.
Watch your blood pressure. Your blood pressure and heart rate rise, as plaque deposits stiffen your arteries over the years. Losing weight, exercising, and limiting salt may help you to avoid needing medication.
Screen for cancer. Age increases your risk for many forms of cancer. Talk with your doctor about screening tests that spot cancers early, when they’re easier to treat and cure.
Check your hearing. You may already be noticing signs of age-related hearing loss. Shield your ears from loud and persistent noises by lowering the volume on media devices, and wearing earplugs when necessary.
Protect your vision. Ensure your eyeglass and contact lens prescriptions are up to date, especially if you’re having trouble reading the fine print. While no studies have shown a way to prevent cataracts, regular eye exams and managing conditions like diabetes can help.
Remain engaged. Staying connected is essential for vibrant aging. Cultivate close relationships and learn something new each day.

Staying informed and making healthy lifestyle choices can help you prevent and manage many of the conditions that come with aging. If you’re a woman over 40, start now to maximize your chances of staying mentally sharp and physically fit in your golden years. While this post is geared to women of a certain age, I recognize age-related issues will not apply to you. If you know someone who can benefit, share the love and pass this message along.

Until the next post
Best,
Juan

 

Promises, Promises

Once Upon a Line, , , , , , , , ,


At this time of year, you may be considering whether you’re going to make a New Year’s resolution. Maybe you’ve made them in the past and lost interest over time. Or perhaps you buckled down and followed through. Either way, you’re now facing the beginning of another new year. Even if you’re less-than-thrilled with your follow-through in prior years, the new year brings amazing opportunities to challenge yourself in all kinds of ways. Try these ideas to help you set up your resolutions so you’ll be successful during the coming year:

Select an area of your life that’s important to you. One of the keys to choosing your New Year’s resolutions is selecting a goal that truly matters. Ideally, you can find something you want more than anything. This will help keep you dedicated.
Be specific. The whole idea of making a New Year’s resolution can seem over-simplified. You’ll hear people say, “My New Year’s resolution is to get in to shape” or “I want to work less.”
What do statements like, “I want to spend more time with my family this coming year” really mean? Here’s how to be more specific: For the resolution to get into shape, why not state it in more detail? Consider committing to specifics, such as, “I want to lose 2 inches from my waist and 3 inches from my hips.” Another example of being more exacting might be “I want to increase visual muscle definition in my abdominals and my upper arms.”
Make your resolution measurable. How will you measure your results? For example, spending more time with your family may manifest as, “I plan to work 4 hours less per week in the coming year,” or “I won’t work on Saturdays, starting January 1st.”
Structure your resolution using mini-goals. Consider cutting your overall goal into smaller, separate goals. Select the first mini-goal to accomplish in the process and designate it as your New Year’s resolution for the first 3 months.
Consider this example: You want to lose 30 pounds. You’ve struggled to drop the weight in the past. But you want to get serious now. Here’s one way to cut this into mini-goals: Lose 10 pounds in the first 3 months of the year, lose another 10 pounds in the second quarter of the year and drop the final 10 pounds in the third quarter of the year. In the fourth quarter of the year, plan to focus on maintaining your weight loss.
Be realistic. It might not be possible for you to accomplish everything you want in just one year. But you probably can be well on your way to your goal by the end of the year if your New Year’s resolution is within reasonable standards.

When selecting your New Year’s resolutions, focus on what matters to you. Be specific and make your resolutions measurable. Use mini-goals and be realistic in establishing whatever resolutions you select. By addressing your resolution as a process rather than just a goal, you’re much more likely to succeed. And when you achieve one goal, you’re more apt to set resolutions and accomplish them in the years that follow. Start this year to make each year your best one ever!

According to research, losing weight, financial and time management, traveling, and self-care, are among the top resolutions each. In the coming weeks, watch for posts on each topic with helpful resources to help make this new decade meaningful! I’ve also written another book and will share the link with you!

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

Sit Down!

Advice, Gratitude, Karma/Judging, Life Lessons, Support/Encouragement, , , , ,

gabbydouglascover-696x392Photo Credit: NBC Olympics

Despite Gabby Douglas’s phenomenal history making performance at the London 2012 Olympic Games, her accomplishments since then, and now with the Final Five US Women Gymnastics’ team  in Rio, trolls still managed to find ways to bully her. First they attacked her hair (in this case, her edges), then vilified her, for not placing hand over heart, during the medal ceremony.

I find it incredibly troubling to note, the vicious and demeaning “nappy hair” comments started within the black community. One that Gabby and I belong to. As a side note, the majority of black women, are known for being overly concerned, intensely preoccupied, and incredibly vain, when it comes to their hair. Upkeep is expensive, but sometimes other responsibilities take a back seat to the beauty shop. Hair must always slay! By any means necessary. It is not uncommon for some women to sacrifice health (cut exercise), to keep up a certain look.

I also think it’s incredibly distressing, that the same people who have been marginalized, oppressed, and discriminated against, would take it upon themselves to initiate the attacks. I expected only the loudest cheers of support and praise. Nothing  less. The Olympics is a sporting event, NOT a hair show.  I was, however, encouraged by celebrities who used their star power, to publicly offer encouragement and support, at a time when she desperately needed it.

Next, other groups started attacking Gabby for her supposed lack of patriotism. The ignorance was loud and deafening. Not every athlete at Rio (or any other Olympics) placed hand over heart during the American anthem. Some did, others laughed, cried, smiled, stared into the unknown. It’s common for hands to be either in front, or at the sides. As a litmus test example, one American soldier, Sam Kendricks, stopped in the middle of his Pole Vault performance, and stood at attention, when the anthem started playing. No hand was placed over heart. He didn’t have to.

I’m inclined to think medaling in any event as big as the Olympics, often elicits a paramount of emotions. No one should be judged, by how they respond while the anthem is being played. Now, total disrespect, is a horse of a different color. There is NO law or practice to dictate what to do during this time. My heart went out to her, as she fought back tears during an interview, where she was asked to address the trolling.

I’m also at a loss as to why everyone cannot simply enjoy THIS moment in history. The Final Five is now the most successful, and decorated female gymnastics team ever. A truly amazing feat. One that deserves the highest levels of respect, appreciation, and admiration. Sadly, there is always the “special attention seeking few” who choose to cloud an accomplishment.

To the ones who participated in this inexcusable behavior, I hope you’re all proud of yourselves! No one will remember you, BUT, they will remember the achievements of these fabulous young women, Gabby included! I am sure Gabby doesn’t need me to defend her. No. I think she is quite capable of standing up for herself. One doesn’t get to where she is, and not have a few life affirming experiences, with which to battle the storms.

For all the haters, detractors, trolls, negative Nancy’s; have a seat! As a matter of fact, have several. Stay in your own lane. The fact that you would publicly attack someone you’ve never met,  who worked so hard to help her country win, became a role model to millions of girls in the process, and focus on something so trivial like her hair style, says more about you, than it could ever do about her. You are a troll. Plain and simple. So, how many medals have you won for your country? My guess is NONE.

Let’s say for argument’s sake, Gabby, or anyone else, decides to wear their hair curly, straight, kinky, braided etc. What exactly did she do wrong? Her hair didn’t get in the way of winning. Consider for a moment, if that was your daughter on the world’s biggest sporting stage. The pressure to do well is not for the fainthearted. She won. However, people who don’t know her personally, have begun attacking her for no reason. Doesn’t feel good with the shoe on the other foot, now does it? Society is constantly telling us, we’re not good enough. On the contrary, we are. Always have been. Always will.

Furthermore, the next time you decide to write negative and offensive statements, whether it’s about Gabby or someone else, PLEASE, have a long look in the mirror, and figure out how you got to this point. The rest of us, don’t want any part of what you’re selling. You might get attention for fifteen minutes, but very soon, you’ll be seen for what you are.  Remember, you’ll catch a lot more flies with honey, than vinegar.

Gabby has accomplished MORE than half of you put together, in your lifetimes. Besides being a three-time gold medal Olympic champion, she has released a memoir.  Landed a reality show. Created her own leotard clothing line. This year, Barbie launched The Gabby Douglas doll.  On a side note, when this post was published, news broke that Gabby has been tapped as a judge, on the Miss America 2017 pageant. I’m willing to bet the accolades and accomplishments doesn’t end there.

Gabby is a role model for every young girl, sat at home, watched the Olympics, and dreamt of representing her country (not necessarily in gymnastics). Millions of us are immensely proud of her efforts. In 2012, she was th BEST in the world! This time around she still managed to help Team USA win gold, again. Little girls who most likely turned to their mothers, with sparkling, wide-eyed innocence, and asked “Mom, can I do that?”, to which came the response “Of course you can baby. And one day you will!”

Gabby, I hope you’re too busy writing the next phase of your life, to bother giving a spearing thought to any of these detractors. Continue to show the world just how great you are.  And long after you’ve retired from gymnastics, you’ll still be blazing trails. I know being in the public eye, and having your every move scrutinized, can’t be easy. Sadly, people think its open season to hide behind their keyboards, and become instant experts on every and anything.

You’re a BADASS. Entrepreneur. Author. Role Model. Olympic Champion. You will ALWAYS have these things to look back on. No one can take them away from you. Happily, it’s not the only label that defines you. We think you’re strong, capable, gracious, and resilient.

So carry on. Get up and own it. We are all cheering for you. Because..”Still You Rise”

Until the next post,

Best,

 

Juan

No. You Cant.

Once Upon a Line, , , , , , , ,

Following up on my promise at the end of This Post, the need to Let Go of Trying to Change Others is a lesson I’ve learnt these past few years. Why has it taken years? Because some of us need to be taught the same things, over and over. Until we get it. We need to go through cleansing processes. To purify the soul, and open new paths to self fulfilment.The path to this place, has been one of tremendous trial, and sometimes suffering. Heavenly Father brought me to, and through it.

At my age, you would think I have been there. Done it. Got my sticker. Moved on. Not so. You fall into the habit of trying to fix people. Depending on the nature of the relationship, your entire life can easily be consumed with it. You plod on, totally oblivious to the pitfalls and dangers. The result? A bucket load of emotional angst and heartache, of unimaginable proportions. We waste precious time, only to us, in the moment, it isn’t wasted. We con ourselves into thinking, and believing, there is light at the end of the tunnel. In some instances, there is, but not the one you might think of.

Next year, I will be celebrating a huge milestone in my life. As this one slowly draws to a close. I can honestly say, with the utmost conviction, that you and I, cannot change people. We can’t, and we won’t. Sure, we can waste years, even lifetimes, deceiving ourselves into thinking we can. Perhaps,  if we show them more love, change ourselves, sacrifice, work tirelessly, pray harder, and every conceivable act, change will come. While, some progress might be visible, it won’t be the effectual and significant change we hoped for.

“People often change for two reasons: either you’ve learned enough that you want to change, or you’ve been hurt enough that you need to”. – Nishan Panwar. So what to do? Change yourself. Love yourself. Move on. Realise you deserve more. Accept the fact that, we teach people how to treat us. And what you put up with, is what will continue. The only person you can change is yourself, and once you realise this, you will be liberated.

Please know, when people show you who they really are, believe them. While you can’t change people, you must either accept them or let them go. Friends, if you haven’t gotten to this stage in life yet, be patient, you will. It simply means, there are more lessons for you to learn. You will have an epiphany. I promise you, it will be one of the most self actualising moments of your entire life.

Until then, go in love and light. Try your best to enjoy the journey. We only have one.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

Dont Judge Me…..

Karma/Judging, , , , , , ,

……Because I sin differently than you!

Recently, a woman I was paired to work with on a volunteer project, fired off a lengthy email to the co-ordinator. She claimed, among other things “I wasn’t tough or independent enough” for  the rigorous work ahead. This after 3-4 phone conversations. And two hours in each other’s company.

Too bad. For her. Especially when I received a copy of the email hours after a transatlantic flight from Britain.  There was no sleeping on this one. I wouldn’t feel differently the next day. I had to set her straight. Immediately. I was taken aback  by the fact that someone who barely knew anything besides my name. And the city I lived in. Could make such quick, unfounded judgements.

I directly addressed each of her points. And specifically asked her “not to judge me because of a few  minor, petty, inconsequential incidents. Or because I sin differently than you”. Needless to say, we wont be working together. The project is rather important. Her revelations? A blessing in disguise. Her timing? Spot on. We were due to start within a month.

This experience solidifies how remarkably easy it is to judge others. In my opinion, we judge, stereotype, etc, because we are too lazy. To find out otherwise. When we label. And place people in groups. We have something to work with. We don’t have to look any further than the box we’ve placed them in. We overlook the fact that in the majority of instances, we know their names. Not their story.

We’ve become a society of judgemental moralists. Making decisions which affect the lives of others. Sometimes, with no earthly idea. Yet, based on personal experiences, we forge ahead. Judging spouses. Children. Coworkers. Complete strangers. Anyone with a pulse. There in lies the great danger.

Obviously, some situations require us to act on the information available to us. Simple, every day things. Others more complex. To help. Or remain a bystander. To allow a person to learn lessons. When the person has repeatedly brought woe upon themselves. Etc. In these instances, we should use our intelligence. As a way of figuring out what’s happening.

Expressing an opinion is not judging. Making an observation is not judging. But. When we chose to pass sentences on any person. And act upon those sentences. That is judging. Especially with insufficient knowledge. Perhaps, the next time we are tempted to dismiss someone. Because of course, we cannot be wrong. We might want to take a step back. Better yet, try to live their lives for a day. See if you still feel the same way.

Mother Teresa once said: “If we judge people, we have no time to love them“.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

30 Sumthin’

Advice, Life Lessons, Lists, , , , , , ,

At the ripe age of 30 sumthin’, life has taught me valuable lessons. Some were harsh and unforgiving. While others were beautiful and lasting. Yea, I know what you are thinking; did she say 30 sumthin? Yep. Sure did. I know. Don’t look it. Thank heavens for good genes. Lmao. Through it all, like anyone else, I have laughed. Cried. Been driven to anger. And desperation.Denied some were happening. Loved. Lost. Begged for forgiveness. Persevered. Overcame. The entire lot. I can’t imagine what the next few decades will bring my way. Permit me to share some bits with you.

1) No one can take the place of family, but some people come pretty close.

2) You can’t change people. And some people will never change.

3) Sometimes, you have to stop waiting for the perfect moment(s) and take the risk.

4) People will let you down. They are only human.

5) Things always look better the next morning.

6) The only person you should compare yourself to, is the person you used to be.

7) You cannot please everyone. Don’t bother trying.

8) Sometimes you have to lose to win.

9) Crying is NOT a sign of weakness. It actually cleanses the soul.

10) If you are stuck in one place, perhaps there is trouble ahead.

11) Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.

12) Everyone makes mistakes. If it happens again, it’s a choice

13) Don’t judge, everyone is fighting a different battle.

14) We teach people how to treat us.

15) Sometimes good things fall apart, so better things can come together

16) Today will never come again.

17) You know their name. Not their story.

18) In every heart, there is sorrow the eye can’t see

19)” When someone has a problem with you. It’s their problem. Not yours”.

20) Don’t change to impress anyone.

21) Tomorrow is not promised to us.

22) “Don’t take people for granted. No matter how much they love you, people get tired”

23) No matter how much you guard and protect your heart, you are still going to get hurt.

24) You cannot love another, until you love yourself.

25) You are fabulous! Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

26) Try to live each day as if it was your last.

27) No matter how bad things look now, they will get better.

28) “No matter how much you revisit the past; there is nothing new to see”.

29) Everyone has skeletons in their closet.

30) It’s okay to ask for help.

31) No one can take your place in this universe.

32) If something is meant to be, it will always find a way.

33) Treat people how they could be.

34) If you walk away from a relationship and he/she does not chase you, keep walking.

35) “Everyone comes with baggage; find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack”

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

“If Only:Two Of The Saddest Words In The World”

Life Lessons, One Liners, Regret, , , , , , ,

According to the dictionary, the word regret means “To feel sorry, disappointed, or distressed about. To remember with a feeling of loss or sorrow; mourn”. Recently, I made a spate of bad decisions. Bordering dangerously close to regret. And “If Onlys”. A few blogs ago, I also made a promise to myself to live without them. Working on it. After much thought and deliberation, I came to a conclusion. I would not have known the outcome, had I acted differently. If you are frantically scanning the post for those decisions, I have to disappoint. They will not be divulged here. Or anywhere else. For that matter. Things come back to haunt us. One less “If Only”.

The situations are done and dusted (a British slang for it’s over and done with). There is no turning back. No return to sender. No RIP’s (return if possible) Nada. Likewise, the Brits would say : just get on with it. And so it will be. I don’t follow horoscopes religiously. I am going somewhere with this. Promise. I mentioned this because, ironically, a few days before the biggest ill-fated decision, my horoscope specifically stated: “Think carefully, before making a big decision this week. You might have to live with the consequences for a very long time” WTH? The “stars” were right. Dead right. Say what?

I made these decisions because “You cannot always wait for the perfect moment. Sometimes, you just have to jump”.  And jump is what yours truly did. Had to. Underneath it all, the doubt lingered. Yet, I steamrolled straight ahead.Why? Because my life has been littered with “safe decisions”. Some worked. The rest? Runaway train wrecks. Admittedly, sometimes, it’s not a good idea to tempt fate. Not to ignore the small voice which clearly whispers “Don’t do it. Please don’t”. You might not be able to handle the consequences. Some of which lasts a lifetime.

Well life goes on, doesn’t it? “The sun will come out tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar”. Life has two certainties: Death. And Taxes. Everything else is pretty much up for grabs. I have made my bed. I must lie in it. Maybe I am in this place because I couldn’t learn these lessons any other way. For instance, to know that sometimes it is better to wait on the Lord. And trust his promises. Pray harder. Realise a leopard doesn’t change it’s spots.The whole kit and caboodle.

I’m not alone in wondering why we need to learn the same lessons over and over again. Is it because we have emotional baggage to empty?Weaknesses to overcome? Maybe, it’s because good things fall apart so better things can come together? Or perhaps, it’s because we must finally learn to stop kicking against the pricks. Add to the list.

I’ll tell you what I wont regret. Decades from now. Not taking a chance the outcome might be different. Being afraid to try because the odds were stacked against me. Not giving people the opportunity to prove themselves. At the end of the day, I did it my way. I was happy. For a bit. Then reality knocked. And I woke up smack in the middle of it.

One last note; decades from now, I dont want to look back on these decisions and say “If Only”. Simply because “No matter how much you revisit the past, there is nothing new to see!” However. If that happens. It won’t matter then.Will it? I will remember at one point in my life, it was exactly what I wanted. I thought it would make me happy. And I went for it!

Until the next post…

Best,

Juan