The Link Between Childhood Trauma and Imposter Syndrome: What You Need to Know”

Once Upon a Line

Do you have repeated thoughts ‌you haven’t rightfully gained your job or an award? Do you fear being outed or exposed for not being as talented or enough in your career?

Impostor syndrome is a habitual thought pattern, according to PsychCentral, and may stem from your family background. Impostor syndrome can bring on feelings of chronic self-doubt and even a lack of celebration of their achievements. 

Where Does Impostor Syndrome Come From?
Impostor syndrome can come from receiving praise or acknowledgment for something you didn’t deserve, which can directly influence your thoughts and feelings of being a phony. Impostor syndrome can hinder your self-esteem and even keep you from trying new activities in life. If you frequently battle feelings where you don’t deserve recognition for a job well done, then you could be living with it. Many individuals are known to have this syndrome without realizing it. 

Five Reasons You May Battle Impostor Syndrome
There are five common reasons why you may be battling impostor syndrome, such as:

  1. You may have received praise or recognition for something that you did not deserve, such as a blue ribbon for a project when you know you did not do your best.
  1. You may have been praised for being good in a skill that you actually were not good at just so you would not be left out. 
  1. You may have never received any type of positive reinforcement for a job well done even though you worked to your best ability.
  1. You may not feel deserving of something of value because you were told you were not good enough or should have done better regardless of how much effort you put forth.
  1. Did your family assign you a label such as “the sporty one” or “the smart one” without recognizing other areas you excelled at?

These labels or ingrained life lessons could cause you to grow into an adult that suffers from impostor syndrome. 

Once you can relate to one or more of these life experiences, you can ‌change your own life. For example, if they labeled you the “smart one” of your family, then you could begin by recognizing a job well done in another area of your life. Perhaps trying out for a sports team or taking part in a community event can be the beginning of self-recognition and the shedding of your impostor syndrome feelings. 

Take time to recognize your own achievements, as this can build your self-esteem and help you shed that ‌label. 

To Your Success,
Juan

Understanding Imposter Syndrome: Feeling Like A Fraud

Once Upon a Line

In a few weeks,  I would have completed yet another year around the sun. Full disclosure I once suffered from Imposter Syndrome. Though the worse is behind me, it has shown up in  unexpected situations (learning something new, taking on a new client etc).  Still trying to figure out how to complete obliterate this feeling. Does this sound familiar, and what exactly is it? Do you often feel like a fraud? Read on, you are in the right place!

Impostor syndrome is the fear of being considered a fraud or doubting one’s accomplishments. According to the Journal of Behavioral Science, it is estimated that 70% of people in the U.S. experience impostor syndrome. 

Impostor syndrome (IS) is an internal feeling that you believe you are not as qualified as other may think you are. This is often connected to thoughts of perfectionism and can be applied to your intelligence or achievement. If you have feelings of being a fraud, did not deserve that raise, then you could be dealing with impostor syndrome. 

Four Characteristics of Impostor Syndrome

  1. Deep-seated feelings of fear that you aren’t able to meet expectations.
  2. Undermining your achievements even when you worked diligently.
  3. Setting unrealistic goals and then feeling disappointed if you do not meet them.
  4. Doubting yourself no matter what you’re working on or working towards.

Impostor syndrome can be ingrained in you as a child and continue well into adulthood. Struggling with feelings of being a fraud can happen to anyone but is seen mostly in successful women. According to research done with Psycnet.apa.org, “despite their outstanding academic and professional accomplishments, women who experience the impostor phenomenon persist in believing that they are really not bright and have fooled anyone who thinks otherwise.”

Do You Have Impostor Syndrome?
So, how do you know if you suffer from impostor syndrome? One way to know if you are dealing with it is to take a free online test. Simply answer the questions that you can find through a quick online search, or try the free test on at Psycom.net.  

If someone pays you a compliment, remind yourself that it is a fact and that you deserve it. Begin to recognize your own successes and take time to celebrate the wins in your life. Eventually your inner voice will support your new positive thoughts so you can overcome the feelings of impostor syndrome.

You can remove impostor syndrome by first recognizing it in your life and seeing how it is affecting you. Progressively work towards breaking those limiting beliefs by thinking of the quality of work you are performing versus the quantity. 

I look forward to helping you learn more about this phenomena.

To Your Success,
Juan

 

Invest In Yourself. Enjoy The Difference

Once Upon a Line

You spend time and money keeping your car running. Give to your children, spouse and community. What about yourself? 

See how much more you can accomplish when you make yourself a priority!

  1. Hire a personal trainer or join the gym. Your health and fitness are important. Get an expert on your side. Many health clubs offer free personal training. Look for a gym with this service. If you have the financial resources, hiring the local expert can speed your progress.
  2. Hire a personal chef or take a cooking class. A personal chef typically comes to your house once every two weeks and prepares two weeks of food at a time. The meals can accommodate any food preferences you have. It’s not a cheap service, but it’s less expensive than a private chef!
  3. Take a course. What interests you? You could take a class on Buddhism, basket weaving, calculus, or a golf lesson. What would enrich your life? Identify what would do the most for you and go do it. You might ask your boss for a few ideas. It might give your career a boost.
  4. Hire a personal coach. A personal coach can help you figure out what you want to do with your life and advise you on how to make it happen. A personal coach is a sounding board, friend, and an expert on life. Let someone advise you and hold you accountable.
  5. Make time for yourself. Everyone needs a break each day to enjoy life. Use this time however you please without any feelings of guilt. Watch TV or YouTube videos. Gossip with the neighbor. Enjoy an ice cream cone or read a trashy novel. Spending some time frivolously is important for your well-being.
  6. Do something to advance your career. You might work on your resume, brush up on your interviewing skills, or spend some time networking. Take a public speaking course. What do you need to take your career to the next level?
  7. Read something just for you. Anything you like. It might be something that helps you at work, with a hobby, or just provide entertainment. Make reading a regular habit. Reading is one thing most successful people have in common.
  8. See the doctor. It’s important to see the doctor at least once each year. Get a check-up and ensure your body is in good health. It’s a good idea to see the dentist too.
  9. Set a few goals. It’s important to be working toward something. What will that something be? Without a goal, you’re just waiting for something to happen. Choose what you want to happen in your life. Spend whatever time you need to create a few goals that will enhance your life.

What can you do today to ensure a more prosperous future? Spend a small portion of your resources – time, money, or focus – on yourself each month. Make yourself a priority. You’ll enjoy the results.

If this is your first time here, WELCOME! If you have not yet checked out my , You Tube Channel head over now for ambient music content!

To Your Success,
Juan

Navigating Self Care On Your Commute

Once Upon a Line

The average American spend about an hour or more each weekday traveling to and from work. That’s at least 5 hours a week you can turn into an opportunity for self-care instead of wasting time or feeling stressed. If like me, you live in the Big Apple, we are busy. We are not rude, you are in the way.

How much flexibility you have to change your commute probably depends on your job and lifestyle. However, there are positive changes you can make under any circumstances. Look through this list of suggestions and come up with your own ideas for making your commute more productive and fulfilling.

Making Modest Changes to Your Commute

More activities can be accomplished while riding on your commute, such as in a carpool or on a bus or train. As long as you avoid distracted driving, however, there are still activities that can make your commuting time feel shorter and beneficial.  Depending on your commute style, here are some suggestions:

  1. Continue learning. As long as you avoid distracted driving or other safety hazards, you can study a foreign language or Macedonian civilization. Register for an online course or choose your own books, CDs, and podcasts.
  2. Plan your future. Figure out what you want to accomplish this week or this year. Daydream about your next vacation destination or set goals for advancing your career.
  3. Relax and meditate. If you’re on your feet much of the day, you may need some quiet time. Focus on your breath and observe your thoughts.
  4. Listen to music. An upbeat or soothing playlist can put you in the mood for the day ahead. Discover new artists or enjoy your old favorites.
  5. Be social. Taking your neighbors and surroundings into consideration, maybe you can spend your commute connecting with others. If voice and video calls are inadvisable, you might still text and post on social media.
  6. Bring snacks. Small things can make a big difference. Treat yourself to healthy foods or premium coffee to upgrade your travel experience.
  7. Help others. Trying to be of service can make your commute feel shorter and more satisfying. Pay attention to other commuters so you’ll notice someone who might appreciate a little small talk or help with carrying their packages.

Making Radical Changes to Your Commute

If a long commute is making you unhappy or interfering with your family life, you may want to reconsider the tradeoffs you’re making. Maybe a different job would be more satisfying or perhaps you and your employer can reach a compromise.

Consider these ideas:

  1. Adjust your hours. The same route can feel very different during peak and off-peak travel times. If your job doesn’t require any specific start or end time, you might be able to start early or leave late so you can beat the crowds.
  2. Stay home. How much of your job could be done remotely? If your employer seems receptive, propose working from home on certain days of the week. Offer to start with a trial run so you can evaluate the results.
  3. Sleep in. You might be able to take a nap even if you can’t afford a chauffeur. Some trains have quiet cars where many passengers go to snooze. Organizing a van pool could give you and others a chance to take turns driving while the rest of the group relaxes.
  4. Walk or bike. Is your office too far away to walk there? You might still be able to travel on foot or bike part of the way so you can enjoy some exercise outdoors.
  5. Disconnect completely. Studies show that time off from technology makes you more mindful and productive. You may even start looking forward to turning off your phone once a day or more.

Each additional minute of commuting time takes a toll on your mental and physical health, according to a research review by Scientific American. If you’re unable to shorten your travel, you can still make those hours more rewarding by devoting them to self-care.

Which one of these suggestions will you being implementing immediately? Sound of below.

To Your Success,
Juan

Self Nurturing Strategies for Sundays

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Self-care on Sunday involves dedicating a day to yourself each week, especially if you don’t have much time during the week to really focus on you. Here are some activities that can be great to do on Sundays:

Let yourself sleep in – If you don’t get to sleep in during the rest of the week, at the very least give yourself this time on Sundays! Your body (and mind) needs the rest.

Go to brunch with friends – Self-care can also mean doing something you enjoy with other people. Grab a group of friends on Sunday to go to brunch.

Head to a park or the beach with your kids – You can also enjoy more time with your kids without cell phones and TV. Go outside to enjoy the fresh air and exercise. Ride bicycles around your neighborhood, have a beach day, or do a picnic at the park.

Have an hour of pampering – You might not be able to dedicate the entire day just to self-care, but at least fit in some pampering time.

Catch up on your reading or creative projects – This is the perfect time to pick activities you enjoy, but rarely have time for. Maybe there is a book you have been wanting to finish or a creative project you would love to do.

Get ready for the week – Self-care can also mean just giving yourself time ot really reset and prepare for the week ahead.

Self-Care for Introverts and Extroverts

If you are an introvert, you probably find that you are the most relaxed when you are alone. This doesn’t mean you want to be or should be alone all the time, but that you often need a little bit of time to yourself each day to recharge and gain your composure.

Have Quiet Solitude on Sunday – Self-care for an introvert can be as simple as just making sure you have some alone, quiet time on Sundays. You need this time to yourself to regroup and relax. It can be really hard when you go all day around other people and never give yourself this time.

Find Nature-Inspired Activities – Introverts also tend to enjoy time outdoors, again in a quiet and peaceful environment. Try to find some activities you can participate in that will encourage you to spend more time outside. 

Embrace Your Creative Side – An amazing way to practice self-care as an introvert is to do something creative. Learn how to crochet, write a poem or short story, color in an adult coloring book, or start painting.

Self-Care for Extroverts

Extroverts are more social creatures, getting their energy from being around other people. If you consider yourself an extrovert, you probably enjoy time with others more than time alone. But what does that mean for your self-care routine? Here are some tips for practicing self-care when you are an extrovert.

Enjoy Social Time with Friends – What might be a little more up your alley is scheduling in time with friends. What better way to practice self-care than spend time with those you love the most?

Volunteer Your Time – Looking for something more meaningful and fulfilling? You might like to volunteer somewhere as your self-care. Look into local community centers or animal shelters that are open on Sunday and see if they need any help.

Join a Local Club – Another social activity that helps with your self-care is joining a local club, like a book club. Not only will you be encouraged to read more, but you can get together once a week with your book club to chat and talk about the book. 

Whether you are intro or extrovert, meditation plays a key role in the reset process. If you have not done so yet, please head over to my Ambient Music  You tube channel for awesome content.

See you next Sunday!
Juan

 

Soulful Self Indulgent Sundays

Once Upon a Line

By now, you have seen hundreds of ads relating to Valentines Day. Nothing wrong with this. Well let’s take a break, and focus on, taking care of YOU. For the month of February, I will share useful tips and suggestions to help make this a habit, instead of a luxury.

Self-Care Sunday: Dedicate One Day Each Week to Yourself

Self-care has transformed a lot over the last few years. It began as a way to encourage people to do more fo

r themselves, which is amazing. But somewhere along the way, it became something people felt like they were forced to do.  Instead of focusing on having to fit it into your daily life, why not just start one day a week?

Why do Self-Care on Sunday?

Sunday is actually the perfect day to dedicate to yourself, since it is often already a day of rest for many people. You are winding down after a fun weekend, and likely getting ready for a new week to begin. Take advantage of the downtime by adding some self-care activities to your routine.

1. Setting Up Your Weekly Self-Care Routine

First thing’s first – figure out what your routine is going to be on Sunday. Don’t forget that self-care doesn’t have to be done alone, so if you have a busy house on Sundays, you can still do this! 

What you want to do is focus on your self-care on Sundays, whether that means an hour during the day, or changing the entire routine for the day.  Think of Sundays like a reset day. When you not only get your planning done for the week, but you give yourself some time to relax and unwind, reset your body and your mind for another busy week.

How is it Different from Daily Self-Care?

To put it simply, it’s not. You still want to choose activities that help you to relax, are good for your body and mind, and overall wellness. But you might have a little more free time on Sundays, so you won’t feel as pressured to fit it all in before or after work, or during your bedtime routine.

Think About Your Current Sunday Routine

In order to turn Sunday into your weekly self-care day, you need to consider what you tend to do on Sundays. This self-reflection helps you determine if these are things that can only be done on Sundays, or can be moved to another day to give you more time for yourself. 

Make a list of things you do every Sunday first. Then look at your list, and cross off anything that isn’t really necessary or might no longer be serving you. With what is left, determine if any of those activities can be moved to Saturday.

For example, if you do a lot of cleaning and chores on Sundays, could they be moved to other days during the week, freeing up a bit more self-care time for you?

Next Sunday, I will share a list of things you can start to implement right away. Why wait a week? Information overload. When you want to change a habit, it’s easy to give up, if you feel there is just too much pump and circumstance. Use this entire week to work out how you plan to carve out this time for yourself. 

See you then.

Please dont forget to head over to my  You Tube Channel for a variety of videos geared to help you relax. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPtcPlU2O5A

To Your Success,
Juan

Reaching Your Potential: The Power of Setting and Achieving Smart Goals

Once Upon a Line

                                          Photo: WaewKadja

In the last post, we looked at goal setting, which to the casual eye would make it seemed the traditional paper and pen goal setting is outdated. For my readers who refer pen and paper, this post gives you concrete SMART action steps, complete with measurable examples. Let us dive right in.

  1. Specific: “I want to lose 20 pounds in the next six months.”

Action Steps:

  • Determine the specific steps needed to reach this goal, such as exercising for at least 30 minutes a day, cutting out sugary drinks, and eating more fruits and vegetables.
  • Create a meal plan and grocery list that aligns with these steps.
  • Find a workout routine that fits your schedule and interests.
  • Consider enlisting the help of a personal trainer or nutritionist to provide guidance and support.
  1. Measurable: “I want to increase my annual income by 20% in the next year.”

Action Steps:

  • Identify specific steps that can help you increase your income, such as negotiating for a raise, finding a higher paying job, or starting a side hustle.
  • Set specific financial targets for each month to track your progress towards your overall goal.
  • Seek out professional development opportunities to improve your skills and increase your value to potential employers or clients.
  • Network with others in your industry to find potential job or business opportunities.
  1. Attainable: “I want to run a marathon in the next two years.”

Action Steps:

  • Determine your current fitness level and create a training plan that allows you to gradually build up your endurance.
  • Find a local marathon to participate in and sign up for it to create a sense of accountability.
  • Set smaller, achievable goals along the way, such as running a 5K or a half marathon.
  • Consider working with a coach or joining a running group to provide support and guidance as you train.
  1. Relevant: “I want to improve my public speaking skills in order to advance in my career.”

Action Steps:

  • Identify specific areas of public speaking that you want to improve, such as confidence, presentation skills, or clarity of delivery.
  • Seek out opportunities to practice public speaking, such as joining a local toastmasters group or volunteering to give presentations at work.
  • Consider working with a public speaking coach or taking a course to learn new techniques and strategies.
  • Set specific goals for each practice session, such as speaking in front of a group for a certain amount of time or delivering a presentation on a specific topic.
  1. Time-bound: “I want to save $10,000 for a down payment on a house within the next three years.”

Action Steps:

  • Determine how much money you need to save each month to reach your goal within the allotted time frame.
  • Create a budget and stick to it to ensure that you are saving enough money each month.
  • Consider finding ways to increase your income or reduce your expenses in order to reach your saving goals faster.
  • Set specific deadlines for reaching intermediate saving goals, such as $2,000 in six months or $5,000 in a year.

Sometimes we overcomplicate things, which often leads to procrastination. Change takes time, be patient with yourself. Be consistent.  Screenshot each step and go out there and get yours!

Best of luck this year:)

Warmly,
Juan

Welcome To Ambient Musicology

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Ambient music is a genre of music characterized by its atmospheric and relaxing qualities. Think of electronic instruments and soundscapes, often associated with relaxation, meditation, and stress relief. The origins of ambient music can be traced back to the 1970s. Since its inception, ambient music has evolved and diversified, incorporating elements of other genres such as classical, jazz, and world music. Today, ambient music is popular among a wide range of listeners and is often used in settings such as yoga classes, massage therapy, and relaxation therapies. It continues to be a vibrant and evolving genre, with new artists and styles emerging all the time.

On Christmas Day I launched my new venture, a YouTube channel : Ambient Musiclogy. Here you will find a curated selection of ambient tracks that are perfect for relaxation, meditation, and stress relief.  Meditation and Mindfulness practices saved me during the COVID lock down in NYC. I want to share my love of ambient music with you, and anyone who comes across my channel.

Here are few excellent reasons why you should subscribe.

  1. High-quality content: All racks on my channel are carefully selected an. Whether you’re looking for soothing nature sounds, calming instrumental music, or peaceful melodies, you’ll find something that speaks to you.
  2. Regular updates: I’m always adding new music to the channel, so you’ll have a constant stream of new music to enjoy. Long form content is uploaded twice per week, while shorts are done daily.
  3. Variety of genres: Are you a fan of electronic, classical, or acoustic music? Occasionally I might sneak these in. 
  4. Positive impact on mental health: Listening to ambient music has been shown to have a positive impact on mental health. If you are struggling with stress, anxiety, or insomnia, the calming and soothing sounds on my channel, can help you relax and unwind.
  5. Free and convenient access: All of the tracks on my channel are free to stream, and you can access them from anywhere with an internet connection. Whether you’re at home, at work, or on the go, you can enjoy the benefits of ambient music anytime, anywhere.

So if you’re a fan of ambient music or are looking for a way to relax and de-stress, consider subscribing to my YouTube channel. With its high-quality content, regular updates, and personalized playlist options, it’s the perfect place to find music that speaks to you. Here’s to your relaxation and well-being! 

Head over to  Ambient Musiclogy.  PLEASE LIKE | SUBSCRIBE | COMMENT| TURN ON BELL NOTIFICATIONS 

Look forward. to having you! Your support is much appreciated. 

With Thanks,
Juan

 

 

 

 

Seven Surprising Benefits of Trying New Things.

Once Upon a Line

Trying new things can be intimidating and scary, but it’s also an essential part of life, that is if you want to grow. Whether you’re trying a new hobby, exploring a new place, or stepping out of your comfort zone, the benefits are numerous. Here are just a few reasons why. Which one have you personally experienced?

  1. Personal growth: You learn and grow. Challenged to step outside your comfort zone your horizons are expanded. Whether you’re learning a new skill or exploring a new culture,  your understanding of the world will shift.
  2. Increased confidence: Build confidence in yourself and your abilities. Every time you succeed at something new, you gain confidence and become more comfortable taking on challenges. This increased confidence can carry over into other areas of your life, making you feel more capable and self-assured.
  3. Improved problem-solving skills: Trying new things often involves problem-solving, as you encounter challenges and obstacles. By practicing you become better equipped to handle difficult situations in the future.
  4. Increased creativity: Stimulates your creativity and encourages you to think outside the box. Whether you’re trying an art form, new places, you’ll find it helps spark your creativity, and encourages you to approach things in new and innovative ways.
  5. Meeting new people: Expand your social circle. A new club or taking a class, is a great way to make new friends and connect with others.
  6. Improved mental and physical health: Reduce stress, improve brain function, and boost self-esteem. New form of exercise, or exploring a new hobby, has a range of health benefits.
  7. Increased happiness: Sense of excitement and accomplishment that can boost your happiness levels. The sense of adventure and discovery that comes with trying new things can bring joy and fulfillment.

    In short, trying new things is an essential part of life. It helps you grow as a person, improves your mental and physical health, and brings joy and fulfillment. So don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and try something new – you never know what amazing experiences and opportunities might be waiting for you

    Next up, an introduction to my new adventure, Ambient Musicology! 

    Warmly,
    Juan

    Mastering the Masterpiece: The Art of Setting and Achieving Your Goals

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    Goal setting is a crucial aspect of personal and professional development, as it helps individuals define what they want to achieve,  and create a plan to reach those goals. While the basic principles of goal setting have remained the same over time, the way in which people set and work towards their goals has evolved with advances in technology and shifts in societal norms.

    In the past, goal setting often involved writing down specific goals on paper, along with action steps and deadlines for completion. This method of goal setting, known as the SMART criteria, involved setting goals that were Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound.

    Today, however, there are many more tools and resources available to help people set and track their goals. Digital goal setting apps and software allow individuals to create, track, and share their goals with others, and provide reminders and progress updates to keep users on track. Apps such as Todoist, Troll, Asana, Evernote, Google Keep, GoalsOnTrack, Habitica etc..both free and paid.

    In addition, social media and online communities have made it easier for people to connect with others who have similar goals, share resources and advice, and provide accountability and motivation.

    One major change in the way that goals are set and pursued today is the increased focus on personal and professional development. In the past, goal setting may have primarily focused on tangible achievements, such as financial success or career advancement. However, today there is a greater emphasis on personal growth, self-improvement, and well-being.

    This shift has led to the rise of popular goal setting techniques such as the “growth mindset,” which emphasizes the importance of continually learning and striving to improve, rather than focusing solely on the end result.

    Overall, while the basic principles of goal setting have remained the same, the way in which goals are set and pursued has evolved with the times. With the availability of technology and a greater focus on personal growth, it has become easier than ever for individuals to set and work towards their goals.

    Did you gain new insights and ways of looking at how you set your goals? If so, share them in the comment box below! Next up, SMART goals outlined. 

    To Your Success,
    Juan