Category Archives: Life Lessons

Overcoming Post Holiday Bues

Advice, Goals/Dreams, Life Lessons, Mental Health, Self Acceptance, Spirituality, , , , , ,

The holidays are often a whirlwind of activity and emotion involving a busy schedule of shopping, school programs and get-togethers with friends and family. If you experience an emotional disappointment when the holidays pass, there are many things you can do to lift your mood and make it through the emotional let-down after the holidays. Taking some quality time for yourself during this period can lighten your mood immensely and ignite your excitement about the year ahead.

These strategies will boost your spirits and get your New Year off to a great start:

  1. Re-connect with an old friend. There’s something so wonderful about making that call you’ve wanted to make. Hearing your friend’s voice again will bring great joy to your heart. It might be a friend from the old neighborhood, a former college roommate or a past co-worker you were once great friends with.
  2. Take advantage of the extra time you now have for yourself. Since the holiday hullabaloo is over, you have some time to reflect. What do you like about your life? What would you like to change?
  3. Think about small goals you’d like to accomplish. Do you want to finally get that hall closet cleaned out? Maybe you can now complete that special project your boss has wanted you to do.

It’s a good time to make a list of all those little tasks you want to get done. Having the list will help you concentrate on your goals. Plus, it’s wonderful to draw a line through an achieved goal.

  1. Focus on you for a change. Now is the time to hone in on personal desires and goals. Perhaps you want to exercise more or spend more quality time with your children. Ponder how you might go about making the changes you seek. Think of taking little steps toward your big goals.
  2. Pursue an interest. We’ve all got those interests we hope to “get to” someday. Since you’ve got some down time now, why not go for it? Delve in to that subject you’ve been curious about or start the photography class you’ve longed to take.

If you’re not sure what you’re interested in, do some research. Visit your local library, browse some magazines or look in the newspaper. You’ll most likely find a couple of topics or activities you’d like to learn more about.

  1. Have a dinner party. You’ll have plenty of time to plan and prepare for this event with people you really care about. You’ll enjoy yourself and your mood will lift.
  2. Renew and refresh your surroundings. Do you feel like re-arranging the furniture in a room or two? Maybe you want to paint the walls or make new curtains. Re-decorating your surroundings is a wonderful way to go in to a new year and banish the holiday blues at the same time.

Re-focusing on your surroundings and thinking about any changes you want to make will help you de-focus from the doldrums. Taking some quality time for yourself during this period can lighten your mood immensely and ignite your excitement about the year ahead.

Did you find this post helpful? Share within your network, comment below, and follow my blog. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

To Your Success,
Juan

Returning The Gift of Holiday Weight Hain

Advice, Life Lessons

Returning the gift of holiday weight gain can be a true challenge. This is why it’s important to avoid (if you can) getting a holiday weight package in the first place! There’s no benefit to approaching the New Year with a lot of extra weight that you have to lug around all year.

However, if you do gain a little weight, it’s a good idea to know and understand the measures that you can take to eliminate those extra pounds, before they become a problem. You can learn all about returning the gift of holiday weight gain in the tips below

Get Moving
One of the best ways that you can maintain your current weight through the holidays, or shed those extra pounds from your holiday blessing, is to exercise! You should strive to get at least four hours of exercise weekly. This may sound like a lot, but there are many exciting physical activities that will enable you to lose those unwanted pounds.

You can take a walk around the block to savor one last look at those Christmas decorations, go swimming in an indoor heated pool, or warm up in an aerobics or dance class. Go up and down the stairs a few times. When you’re done, your heart will surely be pumping! Learn some basic yoga moves and start or end your day with some deep stretching and relaxation.

Make Healthy Food Choices
During the holidays, fresh fruit assortments are a big hit and make eating healthy much easier. A good goal would be to eat five servings of fruits every day. When you snack on fruit, you’ll avoid the urge to sink your teeth into that hot apple pie and those other tempting desserts that tend to line tables and countertops when the holidays roll around.

In addition to fruits assortments, vegetable trays are a great, healthy choice as well.
With fresh fruits and vegetables, not only will you be able to eat plenty of foods that taste great, but you’ll also get your daily dose of essential nutrients and vitamins that assist in the many functions of the body.

It would be unreasonable to expect you to avoid all of the delightful foods that tempt you during the holidays. In fact, you shouldn’t deprive yourself at all! The key is to enjoy these sweet desserts in moderation. Fill up on the healthy fruits and vegetables first and then ask for a small serving of pie. You’ll get a sweet taste without the desire to devour the entire pie.

Try to limit yourself to just one treat a day. Setting limits will allow you to enjoy all those
seasonal foods that you love without causing holiday weight gain. Share your cookies and treats with those at your office, church, or homeless shelter. If the sweets tempt you too much at home, share them with others.

Party Etiquette
Prepare yourself for social gatherings, family dinners, and festive holiday parties. The foods and beverages that you find at these parties are generally loaded with fat and other unhealthy ingredients. Eat a healthy meal before going to holiday parties. If you’re not hungry, you’ll indulge in fewer unhealthy foods that can add pounds. 

Focus on enjoying the company rather than on the food. Engaging in conversation will allow you to forget (momentarily!) about the food buffet. During the holidays we all want to indulge in traditional holiday treats. Being conscious of portion control will help you avoid gaining a significant amount of weight this holiday season.

Returning the gift of holiday weight gain is much easier when it does not involve too many pounds. Using these tips will keep the weight gain to a minimum and help you to shed those few extra pounds that do materialize.

Enjoyed this post?! Like, share, comment, and follow my blog!

To Your Success,
Juan

How To Provide A Bright Holiday For Children With Special Needs

Advice, Life Lessons, Love/Relationships, Support/Encouragement, ,

Children love the holidays. They’re excited about the gifts they’ll get, and they enjoy seeing
family members and friends that they might not otherwise see very often at all. For children with special needs, celebrating the holidays can be harder. They often have limitations that are different than children around them.

To help make their holidays brighter, you can be the spark that helps warm their
hearts! Giving your time to these kids will bring a memorable holiday to both of you.
Try these tips to bring more holiday cheer to children with special needs:

1. Decide how much time you have to volunteer. Once you know how much time
you’re willing to give, for how long, and on what days, you’ll be better prepared to
offer what you have to companies, and organizations that help children who have
special needs.

2. Determine which charities and businesses you want to volunteer with. You
may want to just go where the greatest need is, but you may also have a special
preference for one or more organizations for whatever reason. No matter where you
go, your joy and enthusiasm will be an asset to children who need your love
and support over the holidays.

3. Talk to the charities you want to help. Find out what they really need from you.
Most of them need money, but your time and talents will also make a difference. Tell
them what you can do and see if they can find ways for you to help. Almost any
organization that helps children with special needs will take you.

4. Pay attention to what the children need. Once you’re working with the children,
take time to listen and watch. See what they want and need, instead of what you want to give them. Toys are great, but they might just want to play a game or have someone who will listen to them. What their special needs are will affect that.

5. Understand that not all children will take to you. Some people just like certain
people better than others. Don’t take it personally if you don’t bond with a child you’re
trying to help. Perhaps there are other children you can help, and someone else will
be a better fit for the child you don’t connect with. There are always options to help
others if you look.

6. Take time for yourself, too. Helping children with special needs is a wonderful
thing, but you need to take care of yourself so you can continue to help them. Ensure
you relax and enjoy your downtime. Don’t try to do too much or you may get
rundown and feel sluggish. Stay happy and rested, so you can be more helpful.

All children have a desire to be loved. It’s understandable if you find it difficult at times to work with children who have special needs. If you find that you’re struggling with your patience, take a little break and get some perspective on your life and theirs. That way, you can do more for them.

Keep in mind that the best and most important thing you can give these children
is your time and love. They can take great joy from just being able to have someone
there. Even if you feel awkward and unsure about how to act, just be yourself. Children can
sense when you’re sincere, so just give them the love that’s in your heart. You’ll be glad you did!

If you found this post helpful, please comment below, like, share and follow my blog for more tips at doing life!

To Your Success,
Juan

A Guide to Living Sober, Happy Holiday Season

addiction, Goals/Dreams, Life Lessons, Mental Health, Self Acceptance,

The holiday season is a time for family, friends, and fun. But for many people, it’s also a time of stress and anxiety. If you’re in recovery from alcoholism or drug addiction

You may look forward to decorating the tree and baking sugar cookies. Then, you remember crowded shopping malls and family dinners with distant relatives asking you about your childbearing plans. You may also wonder how you’ll handle annual rituals that usually involve rum punch and champagne.

Learn how to celebrate the holidays without risking your recovery.  Follow these tips for staying peaceful and sober, starting with Thanksgiving and continuing into the New Year.

Minimizing Holiday Stress:

  1. Anticipate triggers. Plan ahead for situations that may tempt you to drink. You’re more likely to make sound decisions if you avoid getting caught by surprise. Be prepared for social pressure and strong emotions.
  2. Watch your budget. Marathon shopping and credit card bills can cause financial strain. Figure out how much you can spend on entertaining, and gifts. Live within your limits.
  3. Enjoy nature. Set aside time for outdoor fun like ice skating and sledding. Go for a brisk walk and admire the snow.
  4. Work out. Physical activity is a great way to relax and burn off extra calories. Give yourself an early present of online fitness classes.
  5. Sleep well. You’re calmer and more resilient when your mind and body get adequate sleep. Stick to your regular bedtime. Turn off the TV and other devices at least 2 hours before retiring.
  6. Eat healthy. Proper nutrition provides energy and a sense of overall wellness. Plan your meals and snacks, so you get plenty of vegetables, fruits, whole grains, healthy fats, and lean protein. If you love holiday treats like candy and pie, limit the serving sizes.
  7. Take a trip. A change of scenery might help. Treat yourself to a holiday vacation that will allow you to feel pampered and avoid situations that may be too demanding at this stage in your recovery.
  8. Attend extra meetings. If programs like AA have become part of your regular routine, check the calendar to find additional meetings and events to help you through the holiday season. 

Managing Holiday Socializing:

  1. Create new traditions. Be creative. Invent new holiday activities if your old ones revolved around drinking. Pancake breakfast instead of a boozy brunch. Replace bar hopping with volunteer work.
  2. Be selective. A lighter schedule may help you feel more balanced. Pick the parties and events that are the highest priorities for you. Graciously turn down invitations to gatherings that could be too awkward.
  3. Snack wisely. An empty stomach can sabotage your willpower. Eat some bread and cheese or a handful of nuts before going out for the evening.
  4. Stay hydrated. There are plenty of nonalcoholic beverages you can still enjoy. In addition to plain water or juice, explore recipes for fancy mocktails with ingredients like star anise, muddled berries, and cinnamon.
  5. Help out. Shifting your attention to others is a great way to distract yourself from alcohol cravings or any feelings of self-consciousness. 
  6. Leave early. Alcohol often flows more freely later in the night. If you prefer a quieter experience, be among the first to arrive and depart.

Be merry and sober this holiday season. The occasions you celebrate without alcohol may wind up being more meaningful and memorable. Next up, getting through the holidays, after losing a loved one.

Did you find these strategies helpful?! Share with a friend who is struggling. Like, follow and share!

To Your Success,
Juan

 

How To Survive Holiday Travel

Life Lessons, Mental health, stress, Support/Encouragement, travel, , , , ,

The holidays are a hectic time for many people. Between work, family, and social obligations, it can be hard to find time to relax. If you’re planning on traveling for the holidays, there are a few things you can do to make the process less stressful.

    • Plan holiday travel itineraries in advance
    • Travel during off-peak hours 
    • Start out well rested 
    • Build in extra money to your travel budget in case of emergencies
    • Arrive at the airport or other station early to more easily take care of last minute challenges 
    • Expect to run into snags
    • Pack light and carry on your bag, rather than checking it 
    • Allow extra time to travel from place to place and expect heavy traffic 
    • Send your gifts in advance or take gift cards
    • Limit alcohol and caffeine
    • Pack plenty of healthy snacks that travel well without refrigeration
    • Bring plenty of things to keep the kids happily occupied
    • Make waiting times go faster and regain a happy holiday feeling by meditating
    •  Use portable meditation props, like a favorite image on your smart phone or tablet
    • Plan to arrive at your holiday destination rested and excited to share your holidays with loved ones

Meditation Tips For Holiday Travel

  • Sit up straight and relax your shoulders
  • Let distracting thoughts dissolve away as you focus on deep breathing
  • Think about your destination and the loved ones you’ll be visiting 
  • Remember that you’re surrounded by people making similar plans – just like you 
  • Once you’re feeling relaxed and happy, let go of the details and enjoy that warm feeling 
  • Imagine wrapping up those good feelings and presenting them to everyone around you 
  • Gradually return your attention to the present moment 
  • Remind yourself of the fellowship you felt while meditating

Did you find this useful? Please share it with someone else who will enjoy it too!

To Your Success,

Juan




 

Tis The Season To Be Relaxed?! Follow These Tips

Life Lessons, Love/Relationships, Mental health, Self Acceptance, stress, , , ,

The holidays are comingT he holiday season is a time for joy, but it can also be a time of stress. If you’re struggling to keep up with the demands of the holidays, there are some things you can do to make it less stressful. If in years gone by, stress has taken the fun out of this wonderful time of the year, then I say, it’s time to put the “jolly” back in your holidays, and create cherished holiday memories with these proven strategies.

  • Acknowledge that everything doesn’t need to be perfect
  • Start holiday planning and preparations earlier
  • Simplify wherever you can when planning and holding festive celebrations
  • Stick to your budget
  • Scale down your holiday plans 
  • Ponder what you really want to do to celebrate the holidays
  • Talk with family members and friends about what they want to do
  • Plan celebrations that express what the holidays truly mean for you
  • Identify old family traditions. Which ones do you love?
  • Opt to keep holiday traditions that bring you joy and happiness
  • Give yourself permission to let go of old traditions that you aren’t fond of
  • Establish start and stop times for parties
  • Take shortcuts like buying pre-made pies to save time
  • Examine options for pre-made meals or catering services
  • Promptly ask for help when you need it
  • Inform all prospective attendees of your holiday plans in advance
  • Discuss challenging issues in advance with a person who tends to create tension 
  • Use place cards to assign seating in efforts to avoid tension-filled holiday gatherings
  • Short-circuit disagreeable family discussions by interrupting or changing the subject
  • Make a gift list, considering the amount of money you can comfortably spend
  • Cut down your gift list 
  • Shop early and make notes about where to get low-cost gifts
  • Ask for gift suggestions from the people on your gift list
  • Consider giving gift cards to save time and precious energy
  • Suggest a family name-drawing to reduce gift expenditures
  • Reduce the amount of money you spend overall for the holidays and per gift
  • Avoid making credit card purchases at holiday time
  • Think about making homemade food gifts to save dollars at holiday time
  • Shop early and place gifts in a gift drawer so you’ll be ready for the holidays
  • Schedule time to be with your kids for some special holiday moments
  • Keep the kids busy with holiday crafts. They’ll enjoy it and you can get more done.
  • Take time daily to meditate, even if only for a few minutes

Don’t let the stress of the holidays, ruin what should be a happy, joyful time. Use these tips,  share them with your perpetually stressed out friend/loved one. Follow blog!

If you are planning to travel to spend it with family or friends, then I have not forgotten you! Come back and check it out!

To Your Success,
Juan

The Power Of Gratitude: Why You Should Be Expressing It More Often

Gratitude, Life Lessons, Mental health, , , , , , , ,

November! Yikes. 

Let’s take a break from mental health in this month, and focus, on you guessed it, gratitude:). November is Thanksgiving month in the US. If you believe we should be practicing gratitude year round, you are in the right place.

We all know that feeling of gratitude – when someone does something nice for us and we just can’t help but say “thank you.” But did you know that gratitude can actually have a powerful impact on your life? Studies have shown that expressing gratitude can lead to greater happiness, better health, and even improved relationships.

In our fast-paced, constantly-connected lives, it’s easy to forget the power of gratitude. We get wrapped up in our day-to-day worries and stresses and forget to take a step back and appreciate the good in our lives. But the truth is that gratitude is one of the most powerful emotions we can feel. Gratitude has been linked to improved mental and physical health, increased happiness and satisfaction, and even better sleep.

Gratitude has been shown to have numerous benefits for both mental and physical health. Research has shown that gratitude can improve sleep quality, reduce stress and anxiety, and boost immunity. Additionally, gratitude can increase overall happiness and life satisfaction. When we express gratitude, we open the door to more positive experiences and emotions. We also start to attract more good things into our lives. Gratitude is like a magnet for happiness, and the more we express it, the more we will receive.

Given all of these benefits, it’s clear that gratitude is a powerful emotion. Yet, many of us don’t express gratitude as often as we should. Why is that?

There are a few reasons. For one, we often take the good things in our lives for granted. We may not even realize how lucky we are to have certain things. Additionally, we may not know how to express gratitude. We may not want to appear needy or unappreciative In our fast-paced, constantly-connected lives, it’s easy to forget the power of gratitude. We get wrapped up in our day-to-day worries and stresses and forget to take a step back and appreciate the good in our lives. 

So why not make a commitment to expressing gratitude more often? If you’re not sure where to start, try keeping a gratitude journal or simply taking a few moments each day to reflect on the things you’re grateful for. You may be surprised at how much better you feel when you start expressing gratitude on a regular basis.

Take a few moments each day to think about the things you are thankful for. You may be surprised at how much better you feel. Taking the time to intentionally express gratitude can make a world of difference. Try it for yourself and see how the power of gratitude can change your life for the better.

November’s posts will be dedicated to, yes, all things Gratitude:)

To Your Success,
Juan

 

The Scary Ways Stress Affects Our Health. Pt 1

Advice, Life Lessons, stress, Support/Encouragement, Worry, , , , , , , , , ,

Photo: Simran Sood

Welcome Back to the LETS TALK ABOUT STRESS series!

It’s no secret that stress takes a toll on our mental and emotional health, but did you know  it can also wreak havoc on our physical health? In fact, stress is a major contributing factor to many of the most common health concerns, from heart disease to obesity. So what exactly happens to our bodies when we’re stressed? And more importantly, what can we do to combat the negative effects of stress?

Chronic stress can take a toll on your body, causing  a variety of symptoms. You may experience:
Headaches
Muscle tension or pain
Chest pain
Fatigue
Digestive problems
Sleep problems

We will divide this segment in two parts, for the sake of time and attention span. Today, we will look at how stress affects our mental, emotional, social wellbeing and sleep habits, as well as useful coping mechanisms. Part two concludes by examining the affects on diet and eating habits, overall wellbeing.

Stress is a normal part of life, but it can take a toll on your mental health. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or just not yourself, stress could very well be the culprit. Chronic stress can lead to problems like anxiety, depression, and trouble sleeping. It can also make physical health problems worse.

If you’re struggling to cope with stress, there are things you can do to feel better. Talking to a therapist can help. So can exercise, relaxation techniques, and making lifestyle changes such as eating a healthy diet and getting enough sleep.

How Stress affects your emotional health
When we’re stressed, our bodies release a hormone called Cortisol. Cortisol helps us regulate our metabolism, but when we’re constantly under stress, it can have a negative impact on our emotional health.

Studies have shown Cortisol can cause symptoms of anxiety and depression, and interfere with our ability to form new memories and concentrate. In addition, cortisol wears down our immune system, making us more susceptible to illness. 

Exercise is a great way to reduce stress levels, spending time with friends and family can also help. If you’re still finding it difficult to cope, it’s important to talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.

How Stress affects your social health
Chronic stress can have negative effects on your social life. You can become withdrawn and irritable, anxious and depressed, which in turn negatively affects your relationships. It is important to make time for yourself, and focus on your mental and emotional health.

How Stress affects your sleep.
Stress can cause us to have trouble falling or staying asleep, and it can lead to restless nights. Over time, you can suffer from sleep deprivation. Stress hormones like cortisol, can make it hard to fall and stay asleep. Cortisol is a hormone that helps us deal with stress, but it also makes us more alert and can keep us awake at night. Racing thoughts and worry keeps us awake at night. Physical symptoms like headaches or muscle tension are not uncommon.

There are a few things you can do to try to improve your sleep. First, try to stick to a regular sleep schedule as much as possible. This means going to bed and waking up at the same time each day, even on weekends. Second, create a relaxing bedtime routine; taking a warm bath or reading a book. And finally, try some relaxation techniques like deep breathing or visualization before bedtime.

Let me know if you found any of these suggestions helpful!

To Your Success,
Juan

 

Get Back In The Driver’s Seat

Life Lessons, Lists, Love/Relationships, Mental health, , , ,

Is your life out of balance? From time to time, our lives can feel out of control. You spend too much time focussed on work, and your family life suffers. Or you spend too much money on your social life, and your finances suffer. Maybe you’re running yourself ragged and your health is taking a back seat. If this sounds like you, then I hope the following tips help!

Regain balance in your life with these strategies:

  1. Identify the different parts of your life. If you were going to divide your life into columns, what would the column headings be? For most of us, they would include family, work, health, finances, and social life. You might have additional categories such as music, spirituality, and volunteering.
  2. Start with your health. Is your health negatively impacted by your lifestyle? Are you getting enough sleep? Are you eating properly? How much exercise are you getting each day? Have you been to the doctor lately? How is your bodyweight? What can you do to improve your health?
  3. Evaluate your family life. Does your family only get attention when you have time left over from your other obligations? Are you spending enough time with your partner and children? What do each of them need right now? How can you provide it to them? How can you enrich your relationship with your family?
  4. Is your social life getting too much attention or not enough? Have you lost track of your friends? Is your family upset that you’re spending too much time socializing? Or maybe your overactive social life is causing challenges in other areas of your life. Consider what changes would help balance out your social life.
  5. Take a look at your values and priorities. What is most important to you? You can’t have it all unless your wants are quite limited. Make a list of your values and priorities. Alter your life to emphasize those things.
  6. Where are you wasting time? Perhaps you can bring your life back into balance by freeing up more time for what’s most important to you. First, identify how you’re wasting time and eliminate or minimize those activities.
  7. Learn to say “no”. There’s not enough time in the day to say “yes” to everything that crosses your path. This goes back to your priorities. One of the most effective ways to regain balance in your life is to eliminate the unnecessary. What can you live without? What will you be glad to get off your plate?
  8. Be grateful for what you have. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, it can be easy to see the dark side of things. Remind yourself of how much you have in your life already. With a positive outlook, you’ll have a better chance of making progress. Begin each day with a grateful heart, try gratitude meditation, works wonders.
  9. Make a plan. Once you have a few ideas, make a plan on how you intend to put them into practice. Avoid the mistake of believing that identifying the cure is a cure in itself. It’s necessary to take action.

Everything gets out of balance once in awhile, including your life. The key is recognizing the challenge you face and setting priorities. Eliminate those things that don’t add value to your life so you have more time for the things that do. Take control of your life and create a life that truly fulfills you.

Here is a simple, free. Defining-Your-Life-Purpose-Goals-Worksheet-IV to kick things off. 

To Your Success,

Juan

How To Avoid Losing Yourself In a Relationship

Goals/Dreams, Life Lessons, Love/Relationships, Mental health, Self Acceptance, Spirituality, Support/Encouragement

Does the rest of your life suffer when you fall in love? Do you have a tendency to lose yourself in a relationship? I certainly have! Looking back, it’s rather terrifying, how easily and completely depended on another for “life support”?

It’s natural to be swept away when you first start dating someone new. The trouble starts when you no longer recognize who you are. It can happen in healthy relationships, especially if you have unrealistic expectations about romance. In less healthy relationships, it’s not too difficult if your partner tries to pressure or manipulate you into becoming dependent on them. Research Narcissist Personality Disorder. It’s a real thing. 

Learn how to balance love with the rest of your life. Try these tips for having a more fulfilling relationship with yourself and your partner. You can tell that you’re sacrificing too much if you know where to look.

Spotting the Warning Signs

  1. Maintain other connections. Neglecting your family and friends is one of the most common and obvious signs. Make time for them in your schedule. When you’re with them, be sure to talk about more than your new love interest.
  2. Do your job. Are you too distracted to meet deadlines and participate in meetings? Keep your mind on work when you’re at the office. Save personal calls and texts for lunchtime if necessary.
  3. Watch your spending. Maybe you’re celebrating a little too much with shopping sprees, overeating, or other indulgences. The sooner you slow down, the easier it will be to fix the damage.
  4. Enjoy your hobbies. It’s great if your partner introduces you to new interests but beware of giving up the things you love just to please them. For example, you can take a class while they go to a hockey game.
  5. Voice your opinions. Speak up for yourself. Let your partner know you like jazz more than hip hop. It’s natural to disagree sometimes.

Being Proactive

You may have noticed that even when you start a new relationship, you soon fall into the same patterns you established with your last partner. If you want things to turn out differently, you’ll need to address your personal issues. Albert Einstein said: “Doing the same things over and over, and expecting the same results is insanity”

Keep these tips in mind:

  1. Boost your self-esteem. Make yourself a priority. Remember that you are worthy of love and respect just as you are. Treat yourself with compassion and repeat positive affirmations.
  2. Create boundaries. In a healthy relationship, partners encourage each other to set their own ground rules. Explain what you need and what you find unacceptable.
  3. Set goals. You’re less likely to lose yourself if you’re excited about other aspects of your life. Develop passion projects that motivate you to learn and grow. As a bonus, you’ll probably make yourself more interesting.
  4. Practice self-care. Treating yourself well makes you stronger and more resilient. It also reminds you of your worth. Eat a balanced diet and exercise regularly. Sleep well and deal with stress constructively.
  5. Spend time alone. Do you enjoy your own company? It’s important to have a healthy relationship with yourself in order to bond with others. Solitude gives you an opportunity to increase your self-awareness and center yourself.
  6. Take a break. If you’re dissatisfied with your love life, you might benefit from giving up dating for a while. Use the time to examine your dating criteria and form new habits.
  7. Consider counseling. Working with a therapist might help too. That’s especially true if you’re trying to recover from an abusive relationship or think that childhood issues are affecting your adult behavior.

Hold onto your identity when you’re in a relationship. Losing yourself is too high a price to pay for wanting to be a couple. You and your partner deserve to feel secure and loved for who you are. 

Wishing You Well,

Juan