Category Archives: Love/Relationships

Classic Holiday Movies and TV Specials: 13 Lessons

Love/Relationships, Support/Encouragement, , , ,

In two days, will you and your loved ones gather around the television after Christmas dinner, to watch your favorite movies? Which ones are on your list? This is such a beautiful tradition! This year I invite your to look for the lessons being taught. One of my favorites is How The Grinch Stole Christmas. After doing research for this post, I learned a few things, and hope you do to!

Holiday movies and TV specials can teach us how to live better and enjoy more happiness year round. These are some of the most important life lessons from a few old favorites and some other works that may be less well kno

“How the Grinch Stole Christmas”

    1. Sing joyfully. Before he had his change of heart, singing was what the Grinch liked least of all. Surround yourself with the music of the season and sing along.
    2. Resist commercial pressures. The Grinch learned that Christmas doesn’t come from a store. Focus on the true meaning of the holidays by sharing time with loved ones and looking for ways to make others happy.
    3. Let your heart grow bigger. Dr. Seuss suspected the Grinch suffered from a heart two sizes too small. As soon as it grew three sizes larger he brought back the toys he stole, put everything right and got to love his new friends in Whom

“It’s a Wonderful Life”:

  1. Recognize that one person can make a difference. While the challenges around us can seem overwhelming sometimes, we all create our own environment. George Bailey leads a modest life, but he prevents good old Bedford Falls from turning into a sleazy Pottersville.
  2. Celebrate the potential to create better outcomes. With all the talk about “toxic” people, we may sometimes overlook the fact that we all possess a mix of constructive and destructive qualities. By appealing to the good in people, George helps them to succeed in every walk of life.
  3. Welcome help from others. As powerful as George is, he still needs Clarence, the angel, to help him through a rough night. Regardless of whatever weaknesses you possess, you can still serve as somebody’s angel if you’re willing to reach out.

“A Christmas Carol”:

  1. Teach old dogs new tricks. We may sometimes feel that our habits are too ingrained to change. Scrooge proves that a life of stinginess can give way to one of kindness even late in life.
  2. Pay attention to your dreams. We spend about one-third of our life sleeping. Put that time to good use by listening to what your dreams may be trying to tell you.
  3. Come to terms with your past. Recognize the unhealthy patterns that get between you and greater happiness. Scrooge’s greed cost him his first love. You may need to become more generous to transform your own relationships.
  4. Become more resilient. The Cratchit family remains cheerful in spite of their poverty. Tiny Tim appreciates his blessings even though he’s poor and crippled. If we bear our hardships with patience, we can protect our peace of mind.

Other Holiday Programs and Movies:

  1. Focus on others. Steven Spielberg’s cartoon, “Pinky and the Brain,” is about more than a laboratory mouse trying to take over the world. The friendship between the two mice shines through when Pinky writes to Santa saying it’s okay to forget about him and just give Brain what he wants.
  2. Work for world peace. The true story of the 1914 Christmas truce is captured in “Joyeux Noel.” If German, French and Scottish troops can call a ceasefire on one Christmas Eve, maybe we can all be more peaceful.
  3. Believe in Santa Claus. “Miracle on 34th Street” looks like it was ahead of its time in questioning consumerism. It’s also timeless in affirming the importance of faith. Plus, it may offer the best legal argument for believing in Santa Claus…

Many of us look forward to watching our favorite holiday movies and specials each year. It’s a great way to revisit their inspiring messages and share them with our children. 

Share this article with your friends on social media, and spread some Christmas cheer!

To Your Success,
Juan



 

How To Provide A Bright Holiday For Children With Special Needs

Advice, Life Lessons, Love/Relationships, Support/Encouragement, ,

Children love the holidays. They’re excited about the gifts they’ll get, and they enjoy seeing
family members and friends that they might not otherwise see very often at all. For children with special needs, celebrating the holidays can be harder. They often have limitations that are different than children around them.

To help make their holidays brighter, you can be the spark that helps warm their
hearts! Giving your time to these kids will bring a memorable holiday to both of you.
Try these tips to bring more holiday cheer to children with special needs:

1. Decide how much time you have to volunteer. Once you know how much time
you’re willing to give, for how long, and on what days, you’ll be better prepared to
offer what you have to companies, and organizations that help children who have
special needs.

2. Determine which charities and businesses you want to volunteer with. You
may want to just go where the greatest need is, but you may also have a special
preference for one or more organizations for whatever reason. No matter where you
go, your joy and enthusiasm will be an asset to children who need your love
and support over the holidays.

3. Talk to the charities you want to help. Find out what they really need from you.
Most of them need money, but your time and talents will also make a difference. Tell
them what you can do and see if they can find ways for you to help. Almost any
organization that helps children with special needs will take you.

4. Pay attention to what the children need. Once you’re working with the children,
take time to listen and watch. See what they want and need, instead of what you want to give them. Toys are great, but they might just want to play a game or have someone who will listen to them. What their special needs are will affect that.

5. Understand that not all children will take to you. Some people just like certain
people better than others. Don’t take it personally if you don’t bond with a child you’re
trying to help. Perhaps there are other children you can help, and someone else will
be a better fit for the child you don’t connect with. There are always options to help
others if you look.

6. Take time for yourself, too. Helping children with special needs is a wonderful
thing, but you need to take care of yourself so you can continue to help them. Ensure
you relax and enjoy your downtime. Don’t try to do too much or you may get
rundown and feel sluggish. Stay happy and rested, so you can be more helpful.

All children have a desire to be loved. It’s understandable if you find it difficult at times to work with children who have special needs. If you find that you’re struggling with your patience, take a little break and get some perspective on your life and theirs. That way, you can do more for them.

Keep in mind that the best and most important thing you can give these children
is your time and love. They can take great joy from just being able to have someone
there. Even if you feel awkward and unsure about how to act, just be yourself. Children can
sense when you’re sincere, so just give them the love that’s in your heart. You’ll be glad you did!

If you found this post helpful, please comment below, like, share and follow my blog for more tips at doing life!

To Your Success,
Juan

Tis The Season To Be Relaxed?! Follow These Tips

Life Lessons, Love/Relationships, Mental health, Self Acceptance, stress, , , ,

The holidays are comingT he holiday season is a time for joy, but it can also be a time of stress. If you’re struggling to keep up with the demands of the holidays, there are some things you can do to make it less stressful. If in years gone by, stress has taken the fun out of this wonderful time of the year, then I say, it’s time to put the “jolly” back in your holidays, and create cherished holiday memories with these proven strategies.

  • Acknowledge that everything doesn’t need to be perfect
  • Start holiday planning and preparations earlier
  • Simplify wherever you can when planning and holding festive celebrations
  • Stick to your budget
  • Scale down your holiday plans 
  • Ponder what you really want to do to celebrate the holidays
  • Talk with family members and friends about what they want to do
  • Plan celebrations that express what the holidays truly mean for you
  • Identify old family traditions. Which ones do you love?
  • Opt to keep holiday traditions that bring you joy and happiness
  • Give yourself permission to let go of old traditions that you aren’t fond of
  • Establish start and stop times for parties
  • Take shortcuts like buying pre-made pies to save time
  • Examine options for pre-made meals or catering services
  • Promptly ask for help when you need it
  • Inform all prospective attendees of your holiday plans in advance
  • Discuss challenging issues in advance with a person who tends to create tension 
  • Use place cards to assign seating in efforts to avoid tension-filled holiday gatherings
  • Short-circuit disagreeable family discussions by interrupting or changing the subject
  • Make a gift list, considering the amount of money you can comfortably spend
  • Cut down your gift list 
  • Shop early and make notes about where to get low-cost gifts
  • Ask for gift suggestions from the people on your gift list
  • Consider giving gift cards to save time and precious energy
  • Suggest a family name-drawing to reduce gift expenditures
  • Reduce the amount of money you spend overall for the holidays and per gift
  • Avoid making credit card purchases at holiday time
  • Think about making homemade food gifts to save dollars at holiday time
  • Shop early and place gifts in a gift drawer so you’ll be ready for the holidays
  • Schedule time to be with your kids for some special holiday moments
  • Keep the kids busy with holiday crafts. They’ll enjoy it and you can get more done.
  • Take time daily to meditate, even if only for a few minutes

Don’t let the stress of the holidays, ruin what should be a happy, joyful time. Use these tips,  share them with your perpetually stressed out friend/loved one. Follow blog!

If you are planning to travel to spend it with family or friends, then I have not forgotten you! Come back and check it out!

To Your Success,
Juan

How To Survive Thanksgiving Amidst Family Conflict: A Guide For Young Adults

Love/Relationships, Mental health, , , , , , ,

 

Photo: Cottonbro Studios/Pexel

The holidays offer a unique opportunity for family conflict. Whether it’s long-standing feuds between siblings or political disagreements between relatives, the holiday season can be a minefield. 

Thanksgiving is a time when families come together to share a meal and give thanks for all they have. But for many families, Thanksgiving is also a time of conflict. If you’re expecting a tense Thanksgiving this year, it is essential to have a plan in place. Here are some tips on how to survive the day:

1. Have a backup plan. In the event  situations becomes too heated, such as leaving the gathering early or spending time with friends or other relatives instead.

2. Be assertive. If conflict does arise, it is important to be assertive in communicating your needs. This means standing up for yourself and speaking up when you feel mistreated or disrespected. It may also be necessary to set boundaries with certain family members, such as telling them that you will not tolerate certain behavior.

3. Keep your cool. It can be difficult to stay calm in the midst of conflict, but it is important to try. Losing your temper will only make the situation worse and could lead to further arguments. If you find yourself getting upset, take a few minutes to cool off, take a way, go into the next room etc. 

4. Avoid hot-button topics. If you know certain topics are sure to start an argument, do your best to avoid them. This may mean changing the subject when someone brings up a controversial topic or politely declining to answer questions about your personal life.

5. Don’t engage in arguments. If someone does bring up a hot-button topic or starts to argue with you, don’t engage. politely excuse yourself from the conversation or leave the room if necessary. Remember, you don’t have to defend yourself or your beliefs to anyone.

6. Set boundaries. If you feel like you’re being relentlessly attacked or attacked, it’s okay to set boundaries.

7. Don’t Expect a Resolution. If you go into Thanksgiving with the hope of resolving all of your differences, you’re likely to be disappointed. Instead, focus on getting through the day without any major blowups.

With these tips in mind, you can successfully navigate family conflict during the holidays. In summary, and most importantly, try to understand where your family is coming from. Second, be honest about your feelings and take time for yourself if needed. Finally, set boundaries with family members who are particularly challenging. If you follow these tips, you can survive Thanksgiving amidst family conflict. Your mental health will thank you!

Like, follow, and comment to let us know how you did!

To Your Success, 

Juan

Get Back In The Driver’s Seat

Life Lessons, Lists, Love/Relationships, Mental health, , , ,

Is your life out of balance? From time to time, our lives can feel out of control. You spend too much time focussed on work, and your family life suffers. Or you spend too much money on your social life, and your finances suffer. Maybe you’re running yourself ragged and your health is taking a back seat. If this sounds like you, then I hope the following tips help!

Regain balance in your life with these strategies:

  1. Identify the different parts of your life. If you were going to divide your life into columns, what would the column headings be? For most of us, they would include family, work, health, finances, and social life. You might have additional categories such as music, spirituality, and volunteering.
  2. Start with your health. Is your health negatively impacted by your lifestyle? Are you getting enough sleep? Are you eating properly? How much exercise are you getting each day? Have you been to the doctor lately? How is your bodyweight? What can you do to improve your health?
  3. Evaluate your family life. Does your family only get attention when you have time left over from your other obligations? Are you spending enough time with your partner and children? What do each of them need right now? How can you provide it to them? How can you enrich your relationship with your family?
  4. Is your social life getting too much attention or not enough? Have you lost track of your friends? Is your family upset that you’re spending too much time socializing? Or maybe your overactive social life is causing challenges in other areas of your life. Consider what changes would help balance out your social life.
  5. Take a look at your values and priorities. What is most important to you? You can’t have it all unless your wants are quite limited. Make a list of your values and priorities. Alter your life to emphasize those things.
  6. Where are you wasting time? Perhaps you can bring your life back into balance by freeing up more time for what’s most important to you. First, identify how you’re wasting time and eliminate or minimize those activities.
  7. Learn to say “no”. There’s not enough time in the day to say “yes” to everything that crosses your path. This goes back to your priorities. One of the most effective ways to regain balance in your life is to eliminate the unnecessary. What can you live without? What will you be glad to get off your plate?
  8. Be grateful for what you have. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, it can be easy to see the dark side of things. Remind yourself of how much you have in your life already. With a positive outlook, you’ll have a better chance of making progress. Begin each day with a grateful heart, try gratitude meditation, works wonders.
  9. Make a plan. Once you have a few ideas, make a plan on how you intend to put them into practice. Avoid the mistake of believing that identifying the cure is a cure in itself. It’s necessary to take action.

Everything gets out of balance once in awhile, including your life. The key is recognizing the challenge you face and setting priorities. Eliminate those things that don’t add value to your life so you have more time for the things that do. Take control of your life and create a life that truly fulfills you.

Here is a simple, free. Defining-Your-Life-Purpose-Goals-Worksheet-IV to kick things off. 

To Your Success,

Juan

How To Avoid Losing Yourself In a Relationship

Goals/Dreams, Life Lessons, Love/Relationships, Mental health, Self Acceptance, Spirituality, Support/Encouragement

Does the rest of your life suffer when you fall in love? Do you have a tendency to lose yourself in a relationship? I certainly have! Looking back, it’s rather terrifying, how easily and completely depended on another for “life support”?

It’s natural to be swept away when you first start dating someone new. The trouble starts when you no longer recognize who you are. It can happen in healthy relationships, especially if you have unrealistic expectations about romance. In less healthy relationships, it’s not too difficult if your partner tries to pressure or manipulate you into becoming dependent on them. Research Narcissist Personality Disorder. It’s a real thing. 

Learn how to balance love with the rest of your life. Try these tips for having a more fulfilling relationship with yourself and your partner. You can tell that you’re sacrificing too much if you know where to look.

Spotting the Warning Signs

  1. Maintain other connections. Neglecting your family and friends is one of the most common and obvious signs. Make time for them in your schedule. When you’re with them, be sure to talk about more than your new love interest.
  2. Do your job. Are you too distracted to meet deadlines and participate in meetings? Keep your mind on work when you’re at the office. Save personal calls and texts for lunchtime if necessary.
  3. Watch your spending. Maybe you’re celebrating a little too much with shopping sprees, overeating, or other indulgences. The sooner you slow down, the easier it will be to fix the damage.
  4. Enjoy your hobbies. It’s great if your partner introduces you to new interests but beware of giving up the things you love just to please them. For example, you can take a class while they go to a hockey game.
  5. Voice your opinions. Speak up for yourself. Let your partner know you like jazz more than hip hop. It’s natural to disagree sometimes.

Being Proactive

You may have noticed that even when you start a new relationship, you soon fall into the same patterns you established with your last partner. If you want things to turn out differently, you’ll need to address your personal issues. Albert Einstein said: “Doing the same things over and over, and expecting the same results is insanity”

Keep these tips in mind:

  1. Boost your self-esteem. Make yourself a priority. Remember that you are worthy of love and respect just as you are. Treat yourself with compassion and repeat positive affirmations.
  2. Create boundaries. In a healthy relationship, partners encourage each other to set their own ground rules. Explain what you need and what you find unacceptable.
  3. Set goals. You’re less likely to lose yourself if you’re excited about other aspects of your life. Develop passion projects that motivate you to learn and grow. As a bonus, you’ll probably make yourself more interesting.
  4. Practice self-care. Treating yourself well makes you stronger and more resilient. It also reminds you of your worth. Eat a balanced diet and exercise regularly. Sleep well and deal with stress constructively.
  5. Spend time alone. Do you enjoy your own company? It’s important to have a healthy relationship with yourself in order to bond with others. Solitude gives you an opportunity to increase your self-awareness and center yourself.
  6. Take a break. If you’re dissatisfied with your love life, you might benefit from giving up dating for a while. Use the time to examine your dating criteria and form new habits.
  7. Consider counseling. Working with a therapist might help too. That’s especially true if you’re trying to recover from an abusive relationship or think that childhood issues are affecting your adult behavior.

Hold onto your identity when you’re in a relationship. Losing yourself is too high a price to pay for wanting to be a couple. You and your partner deserve to feel secure and loved for who you are. 

Wishing You Well,

Juan

 

Strategies For Putting Yourself First

Advice, Life Lessons, Love/Relationships, Mental health, Self Acceptance, Spirituality, Support/Encouragement, , , , ,

Below are some healthy ways to help you develop the habit, without burning bridges or negatively affecting your energy, enthusiasm, and motivation. These tips will help you achieve your goals, protect your mental and physical wellbeing, and overcome even your biggest challenges. Bear in mind, if you do have to burn some bridges, don’t dally, just get on with life, and know you are doing what is best for your future self.

Choose Your Purpose: Having a clear purpose is essential. It is the simplest, most basic thing every person needs to live a fulfilling and satisfying life. Without a purpose, you will end up living your life haphazardly. Your purpose also makes it easier for you to say ‘No’ to people and things that do not align with your highest good. Living it helps you identify what you need to do and when. Consciously reaffirming your purpose regularly multiplies your efforts of taking action.

Live by a Vision: Putting yourself first also requires that you develop a clear vision of the life you want to lead. A vision keeps you focused on the journey, and will allow you to effectively prioritize your tasks and projects as the important things will align with your purpose and vision of your ultimate life. To get clear about your vision, start by reflecting on these three questions: Who do I want to be? What do I want to do? How do you want to feel? If you are unsure about your vision, ruminating on these questions will assist you in getting clear. 

 Set Personal Goals and Plan: A wise way to ensure your vision becomes a reality. Goals make the realization of your vision much more achievable, will keep you motivated and focused on what you want out of life. After taking the time to set your goals, set aside regular time to plan how you will achieve them.

 Learn New Skills: As you draw up your goals and develop your vision, you may find you need to learn new skills to make your ideal life a reality. Take some time to identify those areas that you may be lacking. Then take proactive steps to bridge the gap between your present level and your desired level.

Set Personal Boundaries: A skill you need to master when learning how to put yourself first, because you will need it a lot on every step of your journey. That is especially true if you tend to be a people-pleaser. Others are used to you backing down and giving them what you want, so you’ll need to stay strong. Look them in the eye and kindly say, “No, thank you.” Even when they try to convince you to think otherwise, practice sticking to your decision by not get pressured into consenting. Setting personal boundaries is a vital skill because it enables you to defend your time and your rights which is an essential component of putting yourself first.

Get Active: Putting yourself first isn’t only about goal setting and getting ahead. It’s also about taking the time for self-care. After all, if you don’t take care of your health, you’ll be unable to live your purpose or fulfill your life’s vision. Put yourself and your health first by starting a program of regular exercise as soon as possible if you aren’t already doing so. Engaging in a brisk daily walk is all that’s needed to improve and maintain your health.

Eat Healthy: A healthy diet is equally as important as your body’s need to exercise. Eating a nutritious diet is a huge part of taking care of your health and putting yourself first. If your diet needs a major overhaul, take it one step at a time and work your way up to your ideal diet. Remember, putting yourself first is about being kind to yourself.

Get enough rest: Getting sufficient sleep is another essential component of putting yourself first. It is also necessary for boosting your performance and replenishing your energy. By getting enough sleep, you will be better equipped to face the hurdles of the new day with greater confidence, energy, and enthusiasm. Never allow anyone or anything come between you and the need to get enough sleep.

Schedule Relaxation: Sometimes you may be lacking the energy you need to live your ultimate life. Rather than trying to push through such times, it is better to maximize your relaxation and recovery. You can engage in activities that will help reduce fatigue and replenish your energy, such as meditation, yoga, massage, or a quick nap. If you find you run low on energy and motivation on a regular basis, start scheduling relaxation or downtime into your day. A consistent relaxation routine will keep you on more of an even-keel, so you don’t burn out.

Journal : Apparently, you have 60,000 or more thoughts per day. When you feel you have a lot to do and you are overwhelmed with too many ideas, journaling will help clear your head, can lead to better self-awareness, which is the foundation of putting yourself first. You can journal any way you wish—with paper and pen or by using an app. You might choose to journal every day or only when you feel overwhelmed or unsettled. Whatever works for you is perfect.

Practice Gratitude: Take some time each day to reflect on the positives in your life. It’s easy to focus on the things we’d like to change and neglect to be appreciative for all we have. It is very important to have a realistic perspective on your life and identify the positives for the sake of your health and wellbeing. As you find the time to write down and reflect on all the things you are grateful for each day, you will reduce your stress levels and naturally find more and more to be grateful for in your life.

Putting yourself first is something you must make a conscious effort to do. You must fill your cup first, or you will end up with nothing left to give.  Be prepared for pushback, as this new way of living might not sit well with those in your circle, who take, take, and take. Stand your ground, in a few months, you won’t recognize the person staring back at you in the mirror!

To Your Success,
Juan

 

Things You Should Know About Seeking Treatment For PTSD

Life Lessons, Love/Relationships, Mental health, Support/Encouragement, , , , ,

There isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution to PTSD, and it most likely will not be resolved in a short amount of time. Furthermore, if there are comorbidities involved, it will take longer for the therapist to determine what diagnosis and treatment are appropriate. The type of treatment you or your loved one receives is up to your therapist, but below are some common forms of treatment.

Cognitive Processing Therapy
Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) is a specific type of therapy used to help people change the way they view trauma. It has been effective in helping reduce symptoms of PTSD, and many mental health specialists recommend this course of action. It’s thought to be one of the most effective treatments available. Trauma changes the way a person feels about themselves and the world, often causing them to develop an overly negative and hopeless view of things. This type of therapy can help them begin to reprocess the way they think about things. 

Prolonged Exposure Therapy
Since avoidance is a symptom of PTSD, therapists will sometimes use a treatment called Prolonged Exposure therapy (PE). This treatment helps people confront the things they’re avoiding in increments. This type of therapy will induce more anxiety and stress than CPT typically does, so therapists will try to equip their patients with anxiety-reducing coping skills.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing
EDMR is a different kind of treatment than talking through traumatic events. Instead, the patient is asked to think about the traumatic event while the therapist directs their eye movement. It’s thought that the eye movement while remembering a traumatic event can help drain the emotion and negative feelings attached to it. This type of therapy is still relatively new and is considered a non-traditional form of therapy. 

Medication For PTSD
For some, medication may be helpful in addition to therapy. According to the National Center for PTSD, antidepressants are sometimes effective for treating symptoms of PTSD. These types of medications include SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) and SNRIs (serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors). Your doctor or therapist can help you determine if medication might be right for you.

Treatment for PTSD may not be a cure, as with most mental health disorders total recovery can be difficult or unobtainable. However, many people who receive therapy see a significant and life changing improvement of symptoms. For some, therapy may even lead to a near absolution of symptoms. 

If you’re suffering from PTSD or you know someone who is, know that there are people who can help:

  • The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration is available 24/7 by calling 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
  • For veterans, the National Center for PTSD is also available by calling 1-800-273-8255 or you can reach online here: https://www.veteranscrisisline.net

Hotlines are a good short-term solution, that should be followed up with therapy work from a trained professional. Build up a support network of people ready and willing to help when symptoms of PTSD become overwhelming.  Be patient with yourself (or your loved one) because PTSD is a real disorder that requires time and care to improve.

Remember, setbacks don’t erase all progress. For best results, learn all you can about PTSD, seek professional help, and keep your focus on healing. 

To Your Success,
Juan

 

Here Is What Experts Say About The Symptoms Of PTSD (pt1)

depression, Life Lessons, Love/Relationships, Mental health, Support/Encouragement, , , , , , , , ,

Now that you have more insight into its origins, time to examine the four main symptoms, some of which goes beyond what you already know. PTSD may not look the same in every person, and not all people will experience the same severity of symptoms. However, all people with PTSD will exhibit four main symptoms.

  • Re-Experiencing, or Intrusion
  • Avoidance
  • Hyperarousal or “on edge”
  • Negative Cognitions and Mood Symptoms (Feeling worse about yourself or the world)

Most will experience one or two of these symptoms, but people with PTSD will suffer from all of them to some degree. Symptoms usually appear within 6 months of the trauma, though at times they might begin manifesting at a later time. According to the DSM-5, in order to be diagnosed with PTSD, symptoms must last longer than 1 month.  Symptoms must be severe enough to interfere with daily life, and must not be related to other factors such as medication, substance abuse, or illness. That isn’t to say that people experiencing PTSD may not also struggle with things like substance abuse, but that it isn’t the initial source of it. 

Re-Experiencing, or Intrusion
One of the tale-tell signs of PTSD. The person is involuntarily reliving the traumatic event that triggered their PTSD. This intrusion of thought may manifest in a variety of ways including:

  • Nightmares
  • Flashbacks
  • Recurring memories
  • Distressing thoughts
  • Becoming stressed in physical ways like sweating or heart palpitations 

Re-experiencing can be triggered by anything that reminds someone of the event such as words, locations, objects, people, or similar situations.  Of the intrusion symptoms, flashbacks are often the most troubling. A person who has a flashback feels like they’re actually re-experiencing the traumatic event in real time.  Dr. Matthew Tull, a professor of Psychology writes: “researchers have found that most often, a flashback centers on the “Warning! Watch out!” moment when, at the time the trauma occurred, the person first felt the threat of danger. This helps to explain why people having flashbacks may take sudden and strong defensive actions, sometimes causing harm to themselves or others—they’re feeling seriously threatened right now”

Avoidance
A person who experiences a traumatic event may find themselves wanting to avoid things that remind them of the event. They may also become afraid of doing something or going somewhere similar to the original traumatic event. For instance, someone who has been in a serious car accident may avoid driving or may be afraid to drive in certain circumstances such as heavy traffic or snowy roads. Someone who has been sexually abused may avoid intimacy in the future.

Other symptoms of avoidance include: 

  • Avoidance of talking about or having conversations that remind a person of the traumatic event
  • Attempt to avoid close relationships with people that may lead to detachment or estrangement
  • Lack of interest in social events or activities
  • Self-medicating with drugs, alcohol, or risky behavior

Have you learned anything new about PTSD by the symptoms indicated above? Sound off below. Part two is next!

To Your Success,
Juan

Warning Signs of Suicide

Life Lessons, Love/Relationships, Mental health, Once Upon a Line, , , , , ,

Suicide

I was married to a man who threatened to commit suicide if he didn’t get his way.  More than once. In our very short marriage, the emotional rollercoaster took everything out of me. You cant imagine what this does to a person’s psyche. I didn’t know it at the time, but came to realize, he was a Narcissist. His behaviors were extreme. This blog has some amazing resources, if you suspect you are in a relationship with a Narc.

Suicide is incredibly serious. Since Miss USA Cheslie Kryst’s death, I have watched several interviews with people in her circle. No one saw it coming. Almost all expressed dismay, at the thought of possibly missing the signs. Depression and Suicide are closely linked. In my line of work, we are required to ask about suicidal and homicidal ideation and intention, during every substantive encounter. 

Sadly, Suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the US. Stats show nearly 50,000 suicides, and more than a million attempts. It appears that 70% of suicides are committed by white males, but more women attempt suicide than men. In general, the younger someone is, the less likely they are to commit suicide. Even so, there seems to be an onslaught of young people now taking their own lives. While some suicides are out of the blue, very often there are warning signs. Unfortunately, these warning signs often go unnoticed or worst, ignored.

Be aware of these common suicide warning signs, and you may save a life:

  1. Feeling hopeless. If someone is miserable and doesn’t believe there’s any hope of a better existence, suicide can be a logical conclusion for them. One possible cure for hopelessness is to prove that the ability to alter the future exists. For example, set one small goal; five pushups or to lose two pounds. Accomplishing a small goal is a way to prove that the future is alterable.
  2. Lack of interest in activities that were once pleasurable. This is one of the primary signs of depression. For instance, if you, or someone you know, has always loved to watch baseball, it would be unusual to suddenly lose interest in that activity.
  3. Talking about suicide. Many people that are considering suicide mention it at some point. If you know someone that seems interested in the topic of suicide, that’s potentially a serious warning sign. They might ask you how you’d commit suicide, mention it in the news, or even ask your opinion of people that have done it.
  4. Intentional isolation. People who drastically reduce their social interactions are often also contemplating suicide. When people are miserable, they tend to isolate themselves from everyone else in the world. If your normally sociable friend rarely makes an appearance, there could be an issue.
  5. Giving away possessions. People considering suicide can still be concerned about who receives their possessions when the smoke clears. They often start giving away their tools, furniture, pets, and anything else of value.
  6. Depression. Depression is a primary warning sign of suicide. Remember depression is treatable. There’s no reason to suffer passively, when there are so many treatment options available.
  7. Strong feelings of guilt or shame. People who commit suicide are frequently overwhelmed with feelings of guilt or shame. The best way to deal with these two emotions is therapy. Fortunately, there are many free resources available for this issue as well. An online search will turn up several good possibilities. 
  8. Saying goodbye to friends and family. Committing suicide is like taking a very long trip that you never come back from. Most of us wouldn’t leave on a long trip without saying goodbye. If it feels like someone is giving you a farewell for no apparent reason, that could be a warning sign of an impending suicide.
  9. Stating that others would be better off without them. Many people consider suicide, but decide against it because of the harm they realize it could cause to others. When someone believes that others would actually benefit from their death, that’s a serious warning sign that they intend to harm themselves.

Be on the lookout for these warning signs. Given the prevalence of suicide attempts in this country, you may know someone that will attempt suicide. You’ve likely known others that have considered it, whether you realize it or not.

Suicide is a significant cause of death. If you know the warning signs, you might be able to stop yourself, or someone you know, from ending their life needlessly. Ask, listen, and encourage them to seek help. The number for Suicide and Crisis Hotline is 1800 273 8255. 

If you have suffered the loss of a loved one, use this Depression and Loss worksheet, to help you work through your feelings

To Your Success,
Juan