In the End There Can Only be Me….and You


I have not forgotten why I am single, however, I am grateful for the occasional reminders! Is it ever okay to call a potential date four times in the same day? I should think not! It might just send the wrong message to the right person. Let me explain. On Sunday, I was in a car with four other people, one of which is a guy who I sensed has liked me for a few months. No the feeling is not mutual. It might sound harsh,however, I do not believe in wasting my time or the other person’s if I am not interested. Let’s call this guy John (as a way of protecting the innocent). He took some time to get around to asking for my number, and immediately followed up with asking me out. He was painfully oblivious to any hint that it was a bad idea. The situation became awkward. Had it been just the two of us, the obvious answer would have been a “No”. However, I did not want to embarrass him in front of his friends, so I said :”Sure,why not?”. The silence in the car was deafening. Long. Seemed more like 20 seconds instead of the 3 it was.

The next day, John called me in the evening at 8:27,9:27 (I answered this one, however, being unable to talk, I asked him to call me back later), he did call back at 10:15,and then at 10:54. Ladies, this is not a good sign. Men, it reeks of desperation. It’s a turn off. It does not help that I am pursuing a psychology degree either, because now I check future interests rather closely. Nevertheless,calling someone four times in the same day is not copacetic. Some might debate this point. I treasure my space.I hate to feel crowded. Yes, I love the attention like any other woman. However, this early in the game is enough to send me galloping towards the closest relationship exit. If you are wondering whether I will go out with him,the answer is yes. Simply because I said I would, and I hate to break my word. One date does not equal marriage.

You ever had a friendship with a guy in whose presence you are so comfortable,it’s like you’ve known each other since childhood?. Yep, got me one of those! Being in his company is effortless. There is no pretense. No watching what I say or do. No need to worry if my hair is just right. There is always laughter,banter and free-flowing, easy conversations. We get along remarkably well.The list goes on. However, I am sensible enough to know it could never go anywhere. Too many variables exists.Besides, I tried it in the past. In the end, I lived for a few months rent free at “Heartbreak Hotel” located right on the edge of Dreamland Estates.Population: me.
Yet another reminder of why I love the single life, is grown men acting like kids whose recess candy was taken away. Case in point, the recent political debacle in the house of Parliament on my island! I am referring to both sides of the issue. Having a degree made no difference in their behaviors.SMH

I have had my fair share of relationships. I have done my fair share of chasing, and experienced life on the other end. Friends tell me I am too picky. I am getting old.Time is running out. I cannot help it, but I always break out in uncontrollable laughter.While they might have a half-baked, smidgen of a point, and feel totally justified in voicing their opinions as “looking out for my interest”, I beg to differ. I am at a point in my life, where the older I get, the more fussy I become about the men I allow in my life. As a teenager, hot bodies,smooth talkers and baby faces got me swooning. Yesteryear has come and gone.

I am in a good place in my life. Truth be told, I want to be loved just like the rest of them. I want to have kids. I want to be loved like I have never been loved before. I want it all. When the time is right. God will send the right one he has prepared for me. All in good time. Hopefully, he will be towing my brand new red 2012 (or later) Aston Martin V8 Vantage S, right behind his. Yeah Right. Dreams are free, last time I checked. Right now, my focus is on other things. Completing my Master’s degree. Publishing my first novel this year.Helping my mom immigrate to the USA.Travel around Europe as much as I can.The list is endless. While I am out making these things happen, if he comes along,and can handle me at my worse, then he deserves me at my best. I will make time for him. Like if I meet a Bradley Cooper look-a-like, at the single adult All Ireland conference I am attending in June for instance!

If you are married,engaged or seeing someone,don’t assume your single friends are unhappy,simply because they don’t have someone in their life. Some might be. However, this girl is happy in her skin. I can honestly say that for the first time. I don’t need subtle suggestions,gentle nudges, or bold matchmaking attempts. Been there.Done that.Got my sticker to prove it. I am single and a guy would need to be pretty amazing to change that!

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same“. ~Flavia Weedn

Best,
Juan

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2 thoughts on “In the End There Can Only be Me….and You

  1. Hello Juan! Hearing about your journey is so refreshing to me. You have so much going in your life! You’re finishing up with school, traveling to Europe. (Is it just me or is this beginning to sound like more and more like a movie?)
    I remember you telling me that people often ask you why aren’t you married yet? To settle, you would have to find someone that compliments you as well. (Not your equivalent, which is simply not possible).That person is hard to find considering how well-rounded you are.
    What you understand now is in many ways becoming more clearer to me every day.
    _with warmth, blondine

    1. Blondine,

      It’s so nice to hear from you! Who knows?Maybe my life will one day be made into a movie? Ha….the title should be interesting.
      How are you?
      Thanks for your generous and kind words. I miss seeing you. I hope you are doing fabulous in school. Keep in touch. One day I will have to return to Miami and we will go out and do something fun.

      Stay well and in touch. Love you
      Juan

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