My First Time


juju8.

My official Race for Life Number. I was giddy. With excitement. I literally ripped open the envelope. Scattered the contents on the bed. And stared. Minutes later, I was caressing the glossy paper. Then the most glorious smile lit up my entire face. For long moments. I dreamt. About the event. My first official 5K. I hope I will be ready. Can anyone ever be ready for their first event? Nah. Fools paradise 🙂

Why? Recently I dug out my vision board. I decided it was time to continue working on the dreams I once held. My accomplishments? Not too shabby.  There is still work to be done. Time to get my butt in gear. I always wanted to take part in a marathon. Maybe a few. But you gotta start somewhere. And work hard. A 5K is a good place . However,  I wanted to run for a cause. An event. Something to attach the memory. Decades from now.

Enter The Race For Life Bristol Muddy 5K event on July 7th 2014 at the Downs in Clifton. Sponsored by Cancer Research UK. This link  #justgiving takes you to my personal page. Yes, my fundraising goal is very ambitious. So if you can, please show your support. No amount is too small. Not to the people who will benefit. If we don’t dream big. Then we’re settling for mediocrity. I have started to slowly get back into the gym. And work my way into a local women’s running group. Trying to pace myself, and not rush things. As is my penchant. Heaven help me!

Why this charity? A year and a half ago, my 25-year-old cousin succumbed to the effects of lymphatic cancer. One of the drawbacks of living on an island, is limited access to good healthcare. You’re pretty much left up to the mercy and training of your local doctor. If your condition is serious. And you don’t have the resources, to seek better care in another country. Your goosed is cooked. Literally. Fast forward, by the time he was diagnosed there was only months to go. I am doing this to honour his memory. And raise money while I am at it.

My first marathon. Creating history. Writing my life story. Life is unpredictable. Filled with tragedies. But. Fortunately, amidst all this. Joy can be found. And if you can’t find it. Then create it! Doing what you want adds immense joy to your soul. I plan on doing a lot of things this year. And no doubt this event will feature prominently on the pages of my life. As the Brits would say : I am “chuffed to bits” to be doing this. Hopefully, this will be part of a legendary year for me.

What will this year bring you? I pray for the best. For you, your family, and the loved ones you hold close. I hope you go after what you want. With all the energy and fire of your soul. Do what makes you happy. Because one day, it can all be taken. Please remember how amazing you are. The essence that is you. There is no one in the world like you. No one can take your place in this world. Believe that. Go on. Be happy.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan

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This Year!


choosejoyI am getting older. Much older. Throughout the years, I have pretty much done what I wanted. In the process. I have experienced every emotion possible. As the year dawned, I tried to envision my life a year from now. Gave great thought to the circumstances I had the power to change.  And I wanted it. Change. The lasting, transformative kind. This year. I decided to work on the side of my personality screaming for an overhaul.

Up to this point. It has been largely ignored. I didn’t want to admit to myself, I needed to. Couldn’t. Didn’t have the strength in me. But. The universe has a way of throwing monkey wrenches into the most well- laid plans. In ways that forces change. Because, there is so much planned for us. And unless, we are prepared for it. We miss out. This is the year, I work on changing the highly impatient, very opinionated, sometimes overly aggressive side to my personality. To a degree of course.

Now. Before you start shaking your head. And think, “if people don’t like you…..” I am well aware of the people who don’t. And to be honest, I don’t lose a second of sleep worrying about it. I could focus my energies on anything else. However, through experience and learning. I have lost more than I gained. The change is to a degree. I want the softer, gentler side to be more apparent. Time doesn’t permit lengthy explanations.

A lot of people have walked into my life, and stayed. My joys have been full. Others left. I understand some relationships and friendships are only for a time.  In retrospect, I should have fought harder to keep a few . Shown a greater level of humility. Think before I speak. To be more kind. Forgiving. Make allowances for weaknesses.

In the same vein. I have also learned in recent times, not to chase people. The right ones will find you. And stay. I have had my share of fair-weather friendships and romantic relationships. So, in this instance I have gained. Not lost. The older you get, the easier it becomes to accept that the old way of doing things just isn’t working anymore.

Last  year taught me some of life’s most painful lessons. Some I invited, others were no fault of my own. The rest? Inflicted by people, who, in their own ways loved me. However, when difficult circumstances arose, I very quickly realised, how unconditional this love was. In some ways I am grateful. Because hadn’t it been for them hitting the road. I would still be in a state of denial, thinking they are the ones who needed to change.

My hope is that by this time next year, when I re read this post. I recognised the subtle changes. Lifetime habits are hard to break. I don’t live under any illusion. I know the road ahead, is littered with many personal demons. There is no blueprint or path to follow. But I am hopeful. And quite excited to see me. In a year.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan