Until a few years ago, I relied on others for self acceptance. And self-love. I worked hard for this. I was like a piano in the hands of an accomplished pianist. Dramatic changes have since occurred. Hello there. I woke up. Determined not to be anyone’s prisoner. Not to a situation. Bad judgment. Nada. I accepted me. Loved me. My mistakes.Weaknesses. Limitations. Failures.Talents. Abilities. The entire lot. I learned if someone has a problem with me, it’s their problem. Not mine!

This post is for those who haven’t found their niche. Still trying to figure how to go about this strenuous journey. Of doing what it takes to love themselves.They cannot look in the mirror, on any given day, and say with conviction: “I am of worth. I am an amazing person. I love me. And no one can take that away”. It’s been an uphill struggle to be happy in their own skin. Many among us strongly believe if we looked, dressed, and acted differently. Had more money. A better job. Achieved a higher SES. Get over past hurts…We will be happy. Be complete.

Wrong. This way of thinking needs to stop. Now. It’s time. To say “sayonara” to the people and things, holding you hostage. Literally. To know you are worth more than possessions. More than the last idiot who treated you shabbily. A job which drains your energy. And is slowly and methodically killing your spirit. A relationship that should have ended a lifetime ago. You catch my drift.

Self acceptance is a long, arduous journey. Punctuated by false starts. Sudden stops. Spinning of wheels. Remember: if you are not careful. If, you aren’t mindful your choices. If you don’t make conscious decisions about whom you let into your life. You will slip. Fall. Question your judgment. Choices. Sense of self. The essence of who you are. This is dangerous territory.

It’s not easy to love ourselves is it? After all, others seem to have it together. In every aspect. You? A hot mess. Remember these three pieces of advice: first everyone is fighting a different battle. Second, you know their name, not their story. Third, the grass on the other side might be artificial turf. Do not waste another moment dissecting your failures. Or comparing yourself to another human being. Don’t bother trying to please everyone. You can’t. Stop obsessing over mistakes. And how others will judge you because of them. The voice which whispers you are not good enough. And never will be. Must be silenced. Now.

I fear and realize many will never truly accept themselves. My heart aches. We are all fighting different battles. It’s not fair to make moral judgments. On the flip side, self acceptance is possible. For some the journey might take years. Decades . An entire lifetime. But we have to start somewhere. Recognize our value. Eternal worth. Who we are. We can do this. Self acceptance means loving ourselves. To be selfish enough to try to love another before loving ourselves is untenable. It’s also called cheating.

Accept who you are. Really.Truly.Unequivocably. Everything. All of it. No exceptions. To get started some things must change. Habits. Distorted perceptions. Misfits you continuously allow into your life. Shabby treatment from others. The penchant for getting involved in toxic relationships. Dare I continue? Get on with it. Next month you will be closer than you are today. Closer to liberation. To the indescribable feeling of complete and utter exhilaration at the changes within you.How bad do you want it?

Finally, you are not a carbon copy. You are unique. Compare yourself only to the person you used to be. Live your best life. Love you your nature. Physical characteristics. Strengths. Limitations. Intelligence. Sense of self. Your sexiness. Charm. Inner beauty. Your potential for greatness. Life experiences. Your accomplishments. Innate goodness. Courage. Your will to carry on despite obstacles . When someone tells you are you amazing. Believe them. They see more in you than you do in yourself. Accept you. It’s yours. Own it.

Until the next post,

Best,

Juan