Exams are over. Three months to go. October 2010 is a distant memory .One step closer. What’s next? Well, a few thoughts are a good start. Looking around my room one night, all I saw was stuff. A lot of it. Some will go to charity. Or given away. Most people associate clutter with closets. An overflowing drawer. A garage full of yard sale items. However, there is another type of clutter. Mental clutter. The need we all have to “declutter” our life.Space.Time. Our mental closet. Of things, and sometimes people. The things which annoy us. Drain our mental energy. J-Lo starred in the movie “Enough”. Her husband was abusive. A liar. A cheat. One day, she had enough. She took matters into her own hands. If you have seen the movie, you know what happens next. If not, it’s a good watch.
Mental clutter is the equivalent of walking around with bag of “bricks”. Not the real, literal bricks. They are things or people who keep us from getting to where we want to go. In one form or another. It might be a friend. A family member. A dead-end job. A personal insecurity. A crammed schedule. A poisonous relationship. Whatever the situation, we all have at least one. We sometimes carry unnecessary burdens. We repeat mistakes. The comfort zone is warm.Soothing.Familiar. A change will be nice. Not now though. Later. Yep. “When my teeth is in a cup”. “Eyes on the shelf”. “And ears in a drawer”. If the time has come, read on. Declutter life!
The relationship we have with ourselves. A fitting start. Love yourself. Your strengths. Weaknesses. Shortcomings.Gifts.Talents. Personality. Physical characteristics. The power of you. Some people do not like themselves. The signs may be blatantly obvious. Or subtle. Time to start. You’ve convince yourself for a while. Maybe years. Nevertheless, the façade will slowly crumble. Followed by consequences. Build and strengthen this most important relationship. Look in the mirror, regardless of the circumstances, and love what you see. If not, change it. No one can do it for you. Compete only with yourself. No one else is exactly like you. “The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely”-Carl Jung.
Forgive a grudge. Or ask for forgiveness. Sometimes, we hold onto grudges to justify actions. We feel entitled. Who is hurting the most? Pride and selfishness have taken precedence over humility. Life is not about keeping score. Your heart might be heavy either because you hold a grudge, or need forgiveness. Take the first step. It is always the hardest. You won’t regret it. If you did, it was done with resentment. At the end of the day, does it really matter? This is one piece of emotional baggage you will be happy to discard. “To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee”-William Walton.
The on and off again toxic relationship. It is like a drug. Really. An addiction. A Craving. A compulsion. An emotional tug-o-war. The person is in your system. And knows how to stay there. The buttons to push. One day, you keep telling yourself. You will get out. Not today. Things are not always bad. If they would get rid of the one bad habit. Or two. Or three. Excuses. You know it. Get real. Deal with it. Unless of course, you feel you don’t deserve better. Then stay. If you do, it’s time. Declutter your life of the relationships that no longer hold a purpose in your life.” Yearn for where you want to go, not for where you’ve already been. Your future will be better, your days will be brighter, and your nights will be filled with the glorious heavens”-Unknown.
A bad job is better than no job. Right? Bills will not pay themselves. A common sense approach would be to find a better job first. How so? Surely, not a half-hearted effort. Not when there is another office fiasco. If the job requires a monumental effort in the morning, you have your answer.The job offers no way forward or up. Yet you stay. Hoping for a break. A compromise. Years have passed. Nothing. Still waiting. Time to start. Search as though you are unemployed. With vigor.Intenisty.A hunger. Passion. Determination. You might get a hundred “no’s”. One yes will eclipse them all. Free up space. In your mental closet. “You have not had thirty years of experience. You have had one years’ of experience thirty times”-J.L Carr.
The one friend who takes. And takes. And continues taking. Emotionally. Spiritually. Mentally. Drains your physical energy. Keep going. You get the point .Things which causes you to scream inside. The air in the room evaporates when they enter. The benefit of a doubt option is tattered. True, no man can live without a friend. Yes you can. You can live without this one. I’ve had to do it. They were hard decisions. However, I lost some emotional baggage….decluttered. “False friends are like your shadow. Keeping close to us while we walk in the sunshine, but leaving us when we cross into the shade”- Christian Bovee.
Living in a “plugged in” society .If you have a Siamese twin-like relationship with your phone. Constantly checking messages. You have more electronic items than you need. You’ve become less-skilled at face-to-face communication. You collect face book friends like a hobby. Or maybe it is bad time management. Admittedly, some things are necessary. Face book serves a useful purpose. However, the extremes are a cause for concern. Technology is amazing, but it can also be a sinister force for a lot of bad habits. Imagine what we would accomplish if we spent less time being “plugged in”. “Technology is a queer thing…It brings you great things with one hand, and stabs you in the back with the other”- C.P.Snow.
The take away message here is to make time for you. Less time for relationships, things, and people who drain your energy. Make a list of all the goals you want to accomplish. Set a time to do so. Ditch the worry. Frustration. Self-hate. Dead-end job. Practice better self-love. Make time for your life to happen. Time for your dreams. Make the “one day” today. You get the idea.